


Plague

by LittleMissSyreid



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dirty Talk, Dominant Loki, Dominant!Loki, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous!Loki, NSFW, Reader-Insert, Sick!Loki, Sick!Reader, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissSyreid/pseuds/LittleMissSyreid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you fall sick, Loki is forced to take care of you. Against both of your will you end up in each other's company until it slowly begins to turn into something else...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Quite enjoyed writing this one actually. It was a refreshing way to write Loki - not all fluffy and cute and “misunderstood” but not a total psychopath either. Just clever and sassy and nasty and just… Loki. I hope you’ll agree with me when I say that the character in this fic felt much more natural. If you disagree, please tell me and I’ll experiment with it again in the future.

Loki hated it on Midgard. His punishment from Odin had been Thor’s idea – to work alongside his greatest enemies, the Avengers, so as to try and earn their forgiveness. It had tampered with his plans drastically and left him thoroughly irritated.

He was not the only new recruit either. You had joined as repentance for your crimes but under much less murderous circumstances. You’d been responsible for facing the Avengers in Russia, where they had been searching for Loki’s sceptre, and after tackling you to the ground, Thor had seen your potential and brought you in. It turned out that HYDRA had been holding your family captive and, after their rescue, you agreed to join the team.

You couldn’t stand the silver-tongued God, and the feeling was mutual. Luckily that was the last thing on your mind as you sat snivelling on the sofa. Headache, check. Blocked nose, affirmative. Sore throat – of course! And to top it all off, you were stuck babysitting.   
“What is wrong with it?” Loki asked, all too casually from the other side of the room. You glared at him from but Thor placed a gentle hand on your knee to quell your anger.   
“Nothing is wrong with  _her_  Loki. She’s sick, that is all. You are going to be taking care of her whilst we are on a mission.”

Despite Thor’s words, both you and the trickster knew what he really meant. It was going to be your job to keep  _him_  out of trouble whilst the others were away.   
“If that stupid ape gives me her disease-”  
“Don’t tempt me.” You spat. Thor scowled at you and you coughed before silencing.   
“It’s just influenza, Loki. Nothing harmful to us. An inconvenience at best.”

“Nonetheless…”  
“Can I kill him  _now_?” You pleaded. Thor chuckled before standing. He patted you on the head but you pulled away before he could do so for long. You certainly didn’t need mollycoddling.   
“Good luck.” He declared as he departed, long crimson cape flowing behind him.   
“I do not need luck, Odinson.” Loki sneered. Thor smirked and peered back around the doorframe.   
“Who said I was talking to you?”

* * *

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Time seemed to slow in the presence of the most sinfully awful person you’d ever met. Loki neither spoke nor moved, electing to simply remain in his chair and pout. You had a book in your hands that you flicked through aimlessly but you took more pleasure from realising how much your coughing fits were annoying Loki on the other side of the room. You’d have been lying if you said that you hadn’t staged a few just to watch him scowl.

After a few more minutes of staring blankly into space, he appeared to come to some sort of conclusion and stood. You watched him over the edge of your book and were pleased to see him approach the kitchen rather than the door. You couldn’t tell whether you were angry or relieved that he didn’t offer you anything but by the time he’d collated a plate of food, you realised that you’d prefer something else.   
“Can you throw me that box of tissues? I’m going to sneeze.”

“You are perfectly capable of getting them yourself.” He retorted.   
“As are you – and out of the two of us, who is closest?” With a grumble, he stormed from the kitchen diner and collected the box of tissues. You took them from his hands, only for your fingers to glide over his skin.   
“Thank you.” You muttered and he grunted before returning and collecting his plate.

You let the silence descend once more and tried to continue reading before deciding you couldn’t ignore your observation any longer.   
“Your hands are freezing.”  
“I am a Frost Giant by birth.” He said to which you eyed him cautiously.   
“I see.”

“Does it bother you?” He scorned, turning to face you with a potent glare.   
“Bother me? No. As a matter of fact, it was quite a welcome temperature. My fever was getting worse.” You sighed, looking to your book again. Loki tossed more food into his mouth.   
“Do not think I will be doing you any favours.”   
“Never. You had a tantrum over tissues. God forbid I ask for anything else – there mightn’t be a tower for the others to come back to!”

Another silence passed until Loki finished his meal and abandoned his plate in the kitchen. Meanwhile you had fallen asleep. You lay across the entirety of the sofa with your arms tucked neatly under your head.    
“Some guard…” He muttered sardonically.

Approaching his seat once again, he noticed you shiver in your sleep and rolled his eyes. Loki didn’t know much about Midgardian illnesses but a shiver was never good – and if you died in his presence, he would undoubtedly be held accountable, an unappealing thought. Flicking out his hands, Loki conjured a blanket and draped it over your body. Until a horrid thought occurred to him. You had mentioned a fever. What if the blanket made it worse?

This horrid disease made no sense – were you hot or cold? Should he cover you up or open a window? In an attempt to compensate, Loki did the only thing he could think to do…

* * *

When the Avengers had finished their mission, they usually went out for a meal. Tony had suggested shwarma for the third time that month but after much deliberation no conclusion was reached so everybody trudged back hungry and disappointed.   
“I shall relieve Lady (Y/n) of her duties.” Thor stated and everyone except Clint bid him goodnight. Hawkeye’s sleeping quarters resided near the roof, where he felt the most comfortable, and so he was more than happy to accompany Thor.

“I want to say goodnight to the kid anyway. She’s probably had a crappy day.”   
“I fear that Loki’s will have been no better.” Thor replied. He stepped aside, allowing Hawkeye to enter the room first – only to be heartily shushed (despite not having said a word). Loki had his finger pressed to his lips and (y/n) was lying across his lap.   
“She’s only… just… stopped coughing, and if either one of you wakes her then I will not hesitate to slaughter you where you stand.” He hissed across the room.

“But- but you’re hugging her.” Clint said, trying his damnedest not to laugh.   
“I am  _not_  hugging her. She is hugging  _me_.” You were still lying across the entire sofa but Loki had lifted your torso and settled himself underneath. Your fingers clung to the edges of his clothes, searching for the cooling sensation of his skin, whilst his arms were loosely around you with one hand tangled in your hair. In his mind, he knew that it had been to test the fever on your head but he also realised how it would appear to Thor and the archer.

“Admit it brother, you are fond of the woman.” Thor’s words fuelled his crossness and Loki fidgeted underneath you. He wanted to move desperately but he daren’t lest he wake you. Unfortunately it mattered not. The sound of voices and the smallest of jostles stirred you and you opened your eyes – with a cough. If there had been a chance of you staying asleep, it was abolished when Loki shimmered from sight and left nothing beneath you and the sofa. Your head slammed back and though the surface it hit was not hard, it was still a shock.   
“Ah, motherfu-”

“Well look who’s awake. If it isn’t my fearless guard.” Loki’s voice sneered at you. Sitting up, you spotted Thor and Hawkeye.   
“I… I…”   
“You were sick.” Thor smiled. “Do not worry about having rested.” He nodded before turning on his heel. Hawkeye trotted over to your side.   
“Evening kid. Fancy a hot drink?” You looked between Loki, who was following Thor out of the room, and the beaming Clint by your side. The trickster God didn’t even look over his shoulder as he escaped your company.   
“Sure. Love one.”

Hawkeye stood up and wandered over to the kitchen, whistling as he put the kettle on and began dealing with the mugs and milk. You sat up, only to realise that somebody had placed a blanket over your body. Mindlessly you straightened it out before reaching for your book to mark the page.

Loki watched (y/n) from the shadows as she straightened out the blanket – silly human, she clearly hadn’t even realised that the blanket was a new addition. He watched her pick up the nearby book and sniff slightly, still ill despite her rest. He smiled wistfully to himself before shimmering out of existence.


	2. Chapter 2

You knocked twice on the door. The early morning sun peeked into the hallway from the above skylight (of course Tony Stark would have windows in the damn ceiling) and though you still weren’t feeling completely well again, the sleep yesterday had certainly helped. Given that you were awake early, on account of your inability to sleep properly whilst sick, you still hadn’t changed out of your pyjamas. Around the red silk, you’d wrapped your duvet and in your hands you clutched the blanket that Loki had placed over you.

It hadn’t taken you long to figure out that it was Loki who had cared for you the day prior – nobody else had been around – but you had taken the briskness with which he had left as a sign to let the topic lie. Until this morning, you had intended to keep it that way but you felt somewhat indebted to him after waking up feeling so refreshed.

You knocked again after no response came the first time and this time the door swung open. Loki’s night clothes consisted of black pyjama bottoms underneath a green robe.   
“I do not care for being woken this early.” He snapped. His darkened eyes glittered with rage.   
“You wouldn’t care for me visiting any time, let alone now.”   
“Touché. What can I do for you?”   
“Nothing.” You stated. “You did enough yesterday.” You held out your hands with the blanket betwixt them. Loki stared incredulously at it before looking up at you.

“Am I supposed to be impressed? Thankful?”   
“Neither. I’m just returning what’s yours. Take it before I regret my manners.” You hissed. Before he could respond, you thrust the cloth into his hands so that you might use your own to cover your mouth as you sneezed.   
“Bless me…” You muttered. With a roll of his eyes, Loki held the blanket out to you again.   
“Keep it. You appear to still be unwell and-” He noticed the curiosity in your stare. “–and I don’t want it if it’s covered in your germs.”

After pausing, you took the blanket back. With a myriad of thoughts racing through your head, you made the short journey back to your bedroom where you intended to spend the rest of your day. On the way, you ran into Hawkeye. He was holding a mug of something hot and smiled when he saw you approaching.   
“Morning champ. How’re you feeling?”   
“A little better but I don’t think I’ll be moving much today.”

Clint joined you on the journey back to your room.   
“Good call. You’re up early though, couldn’t sleep?”   
“Something like that. What about you?” You asked. Clint shrugged before responding.   
“I’m just a bit of an early bird.”

The two of you sustained conversation whilst walking back to your room where Clint then left you with his drink, insisting that you would benefit from it more than he. After seeing you inside, he turned around with the intention of retrieving another drink for himself, only to run into Loki.

“Mr Barton.”   
“Loki. Dare I ask why you’re slinking about at this time in the morning?”   
“I was disturbed.”  
“You don’t need to tell me that.” Clint chuckled. Loki’s face remained solemn, clearly not finding the joke humorous.   
“Miss (Y/l/n) was responsible for my awakening.”

“Well don’t give her a hard time about it, she hasn’t been sleeping right.” He muttered making to leave, though not without sharing some advice. “Actually, you’d do well to check in on her later. We’re heading out again today to finish what we started yesterday and she might need someone to keep an eye on her.”   
“Pray tell me, Mr Barton, why in all the realms would I dare to care for this woman?”   
“Because,” Hawkeye called out with a cunning grin as he departed, “You were so good at it the last time.”

* * *

The midday sun had been warm enough to lull you, not to sleep, but into a blissful state of calm. You were lying in your bed serenely when two knocks from your door. You sat up and called out to the visitor with a dry voice, bidding them entrance. Loki was the last person you expected to walk inside. He looked severely disgruntled and when he had shut the door, he remained next to it, refusing to step any further into the room.

“I am supposed to inquire after your health.” He said monotonously.   
“Congratulations. You’ve succeeded.” You replied, turning over and pulling the duvet with you. Loki made no more sound but it was obvious that he hadn’t left the room either. His eyes were watching something in particular, the blanket, which remained on your dresser – folded and untouched. You began to cough and splutter in your new position and so were forced to lie on your back once more.

Even then you weren’t as comfortable as before so you positioned the pillows against the headboard and sat up completely. Loki was leaning against the door, eyes removed from his gift and back onto you.   
“Is there something else you need or are you purposely trying to irritate me?”   
“I haven’t said anything to irritate you.”   
“Most of the time you don’t need to.” You muttered, folding your arms.

“The others have left to deal with a loose end from yesterday’s mission. Mr Barton requested that I see to your needs whilst they were away.”   
“Consider it done. I don’t need your help.” You said, expecting him to be grateful of your dismissal.   
“Says the woman who couldn’t fetch her own tissues.”   
“I will have you know-”   
“Oh, do be quiet.” Loki snapped. “Speaking will only worsen your voice; and as much as the thought of your silence gives me pleasure, I cannot allow it for I would be held responsible.”

As much as you hated to admit it, he was right and you clamped your mouth shut.   
“How I wish you were consistently this obedient…” He muttered, finally moving from his position by the door. The God moved elegantly through the room and picked up his blanket, which he intended to throw in your direction had something else not caught his gaze.

“I see you are reading Anna Karenina.” He said and you turned to look at him.   
“Reading it all of yesterday and  _now_  he notices.” You grumbled.   
“I was being particularly careful not to pay too much attention to you yesterday lest you become prouder than you currently are.” He said with a playful leer. He approached your bedside and tossed the blanket onto your lap.   
“I resent that statement.”   
“Resent it all you like, it is no less true.”

You chuckled and shook your head. Your throat screamed with irritation but you ignored it, focusing solely on your interaction with Loki.   
“Have I said something amusing?” He asked, stepping closer.   
“It’s not so much what you said, but more what you’re implying.” You grinned. “You seem to think you have me figured out.”   
“I’m rather afraid that I have. Something I particularly pride myself on is my ability to infer things and you, my lady, are but another string to my bow.”

You laughed again and Loki lowered indignantly onto your bedside. You moved your legs to accommodate him.   
“Well seeing as you have such a pretty little picture of me, why don’t you go ahead and share it?”   
“Very well.” He stated, puffing his chest out. “You are a proud woman, strong of mind and body, but you lack conviction in your assertions. Your words are empty, callous, and you use them with as much elegance as a bovine on ice. You are tedious and gauche, a woman of incredible simplicity despite your outwardly complex persona.”

“And you are a prejudiced child, spoilt by your upbringing and believing yourself done-wrong. You seek to bring misery and submission to others as some twisted form of compensation for your own past. Rather than confronting it, you let it fester within you and thus you continue to sink lower in my regard.”

Loki paused after your retort and, for a moment, seemed insulted.   
“You… You know not of what you speak. You know little of my past.”   
“It didn’t stop you from deducing mine.” You snapped. When Loki opened his mouth to speak again, you cut him off. “You think yourself above everyone else because you’re a little troubled but heaven forbid you should learn that someone else has problems.”   
“Your sickness is but a mild infliction.”   
“I’m not talking about my cold, smartass. I was-” You paused, the words hanging on the end of your tongue. But Loki had seen you start and thus demanded an end to your sentence. “I was… an orphan too.”

Loki blinked and shifted in his seat. He turned to face you more openly, apparently surprised by your answer, and you sighed.   
“I get emotional when I’m ill. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You said, not entirely sure why  _you_  were apologising.   
“You… are not of your parents’ womb?”   
“I never had any other parents. Unlike some people, I wasn’t adopted by the royal family. I never had a brother to love me.” Loki’s eyes cast down. “I had to steal to eat. And after a while I got… cocky. Started stealing bigger, doing worse. HYDRA found me and took me away, believing that the family living in the house they had taken me from was that of my family’s. Those poor people…” You stopped speaking to wipe away a tear and you could’ve sworn that you saw something change in Loki’s expression. “They hadn’t done anything and HYDRA kidnapped them. Despite everything I’d done, I didn’t want them hurt because of my mistake so I worked for HYDRA, as they requested, and in return for my service my ‘ _family’_  remained unharmed. Then the Avengers arrived and the rest… is history.”

Loki remained silent.   
“I like to think…” You whispered, “that given the circumstances, I turned out okay.” He looked up at you and you sniffed, forcing back any other tears or emotions that might reveal themselves in his presence. You weren’t entirely sure what made you talk for so long – the only other person who knew such things about you was Clint – but it was out in the open now and there was nothing you could do. If Loki was going to tell the team then so be it.   
“I was wrong.” He said.

You furrowed your brow and Loki rolled his eyes.   
“Do not make me regret my manners.” He said, mirroring your earlier assertion. “You are, contradictory to my earlier statements, quite… remarkable.” Your face did not change and Loki chuckled, clearly amused, though not surprised, by your distrust of his words. He changed the topic to compensate.

“This plague you have…” He murmured.   
“Plague is a little excessive. It’s just a cold.” You said, glad for the easier subject of discussion.    
“Nonetheless… Is it contagious?”   
“I expect so.”

“Shame.” He sighed, standing up and adjusting his clothes. You watched him furtively meanwhile.   
“And why is that?”    
“Because,” he turned to look at you with mischievous eyes. “I would very much have liked to kiss you otherwise.”

And just like that, Loki left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve dabbed the compress against your head, only to remove it when you sat up with another bout of coughing.   
“Not getting any better I see.” He said with a sympathetic smile. Shaking your head, you rescinded back into the pillows, not gracing the super soldier with a verbal response for fear of coughing yet again.

“You’ve had this the past two days as well?” You nodded once more. Steve frowned. “I’ll get you some stronger medicine today. Are you hungry? I can grab some pizza whilst I’m out if you are.” With a grateful smile, you patted his hand gently. He stroked it a few times as a response and then stood up.   
“Before I go I’ll get you some tea. Apparently tea with ginger and honey is good for a cold.” He rambled as he left the room. You shuffled further into the blankets once he left and tried to fall asleep. The feeling of your tired eyes closing was incredible.

When you next opened them, you had in fact slept some more. Steve was by your side and grinned at you when you looked at him. A cold mug of tea was on the bedside chest.   
“Hey there sleepy head.” He laughed, helping you to sit up. You heard the rustle of a plastic bag at his feet, likely full of medicine and remedies, whilst a pizza box was on his lap. He noticed your eyes flickering to the food and chuckled lightly.

A few minutes later saw the pizza finished and the pair of you sitting back in your respective seats with distended and happy stomachs; your appetite had been more than satiated. After giving you some medicine, Steve pulled out a sketchbook and began to doodle. You watched him work the pencil against the paper intricately before feeling your eyelids drooping once more. Save for your earlier nap, sleeping had become a scarce habit.   
“If you need to, go ahead. I’ll be here if you need me.” He smiled, noticing the lull of your head.

Slowly you did indeed drift to sleep. What was in actual fact an hour felt like the blink of a tired eye in the land of nod. So when you finally began to drift back into consciousness, the room was tinted with the orange hue of the setting sun.   
“Feeling better?”

You grumbled a response, still without words, and tried to sit up. In doing so you noticed that the chair to your right was empty. Steve’s sketchbook was still on the seat but the man himself was missing. Turning your head, you saw that the owner of the voice was not Steve, as you had thought, but in fact Loki.

He lurked in the shadows with his arms folded and eyes cast down.   
“It would seem that the Captain has abandoned you.” He sneered, lifting his eyes up briefly. To stop him getting cocky, you forced your hoarse throat to form words.   
“He… He left his book. He’s coming back.”

“Of course. Nonetheless, you didn’t answer my question.”  
“What question?”   
“Never mind.” He stepped into the light of the room and crossed it to approach your bedside. Part of you wanted to move away from him but the rest of you was just too tired. Moving the book, he took a seat in Steve’s chair. He peered at the sketches briefly before tossing it on the floor. He leant back in the chair with his legs crossed elegantly; his elbows rested on the arms of the chair with his fingertips pressed together, making him look like a Bond villain. The murky lighting that framed his features wasn’t helping to eradicate that mental image either.

His furtive and dark gaze was lowered, pensively. He was tapping his elevated foot frantically.   
“Do you require medication?” He asked, with a less than sincere tone.   
“No, I don’t.”   
“What about sustenance? Food, or drink?”  
“No.” You said, gradually becoming more curious and irritated – was it possible to feel such things simultaneously?    
“How is your temperature? Do you need blankets or perhaps some ice?”

“Ice?” You said, stifling a scornful grin.   
“Yes. To lower your temperature.”   
“I know what ice does… I meant, why would I need ice?”   
“I don’t-” Loki flushed bashfully. “I don’t know. I just thought… Maybe you might-”

Loki stood and broke eye contact.   
“Never mind. If you do not want my help then I shall leave you to the Captain’s care.” He spat. Before you could respond, he stormed across the room and opened the door, slamming it behind him and leaving you to wallow in your bewildered silence. Why would he be so angry? And, even more curiously, why had he been so uncharacteristically accommodating? It hadn’t exactly been the most sympathetic bedside manner but by Loki’s standards it was incredibly caring… and strange.

* * *

_Loki was infuriated. His fists were curled and his breathing erratic as he paced backwards and forwards outside your bedroom door. He could feel his heart racing but knew not what to do about it, nor why it had been quickened in the first place. He continued to march back and forth, letting his disparaged thoughts cloud his focus for a moment. Then he stopped. He stood up straight. He smiled…_

* * *

You were coughing badly when Steve returned to the room. He trotted over to your side when he spotted your condition.   
“Woah, you alright there?” He asked, kneeling by your side. You nodded a few times between coughs whilst Steve began fumbling through the plastic bag by his feet. He seemed to search frantically with a furrowed brow.

You lifted a shaking finger and pointed to the cough syrup that he had left on the chest from earlier. Clicking his fingers, he picked it up and unscrewed the lid.   
“My memory’s going, I tell ya.” He chuckled nervously. After glancing at the label on the back, he poured the liquid onto a spoon and brought it to your lips. He seemed to watch with intense fervour as you closed your mouth around it and gratefully took your medicine.

“Thanks…” You whispered coarsely. Steve broke into a grin and threw the spoon casually onto the side. You settled back against the pillows.   
“Well, if you’re feeling alright then I’ll be on my way.”   
“Okay. Sorry to have kept you.”   
“Not at all. I’ll leave the medication here.” He said, picking up the plastic bag and placing it on the bedside chest.

Then he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

Steve turned afterwards and left the room with the mildest of skips in his step. You let your eyes fall shut and drifted back to sleep.

Had you not fallen asleep, you would’ve seen a Steve Rogers return to your bedroom and resume sketching; and had you not been so tired and sick, you might’ve noticed that, when the previous Steve had kissed you, his lips had been as cold as ice…


	4. Chapter 4

Loki stood outside your bedroom door, glaring at the wood. His cheeks hollowed as a result of his grinding teeth. Part of him wanted to knock, and he lifted his fist as if to do so, but the other part of him warned against it. Slowly he lowered his hand to the handle and twisted it, deciding knocking to be futile. The door opened and revealed a darkened room. Slivers of sunlight crept into the room from the slightly parted curtains but aside from that, you had attempted to envelop yourself in a night-like environment completely as if it had some sort of healing factor as yet unknown to the world. Had it not been for the steady rise and fall from under the covers, Loki might not have seen you amongst the shadows.

He sat in the chair by your bed, putting his palms together and resting his fingertips against his mouth. With glittering eyes, he watched you sleeping. Should you stir, he would flee but whilst he was permitted, he could watch you and help if you warranted his care. Your eyes were shut tightly and your mouth parted, allowing a ragged breath to escape your system. However it evolved into a splutter that then became a violent cough. Leaning forward he pressed a hand over your head and sighed at the temperature.

You had gotten worse. Despite all the medicine and your confinement to bed, your state was deteriorating and there was nothing he could do. Loki knew little about Midgardian diseases. Any attempt he might make to help could potentially make it worse… but alas, his desire was too great.

Standing up, Loki rubbed his hands together violently, stimulating some warmth within them. Simultaneously a gentle green glow began to form and once he was satisfied with the levels that he had produced, the God stopped rubbing his hands. He leant over your sleeping form and pressed a solitary finger to each of your temples and held them there. After a few seconds, you rolled over and sighed contently, your breath sounding significantly less coarse. Smiling sweetly, Loki returned to his seat for a few minutes, ensuring that you were finally well, before retreating from the room altogether.

* * *

Steve marched down the corridor with a cup of tea. Every now and then he swapped it between his hands lest the liquid burn him from its container. The thought of a super soldier having to be careful around something so common and simple was amusing to him, kept him humble. Steve turned the corner and entered your room, only to see that your bed was empty.   
“(Y/n)?” He called out and you responded from the bathroom.   
“In here!”

“What are you doing out of bed?” He said, sounding significantly more authoritative. He stepped towards the bathroom door as it opened and you walked out. You were still wearing pyjamas but they were a fresh pair, green in colour and satin. Your wet hair tarnished them with dark drops of water though you attempted to dry it with a towel as you walked out of the room.   
“I was showering.”   
“I can see that.” He replied, folding his arms. You knew already what he was thinking.

“Relax. I feel fine.” You smiled. “In fact, I feel great. I can breathe through my nose again, my temperature’s gone down, and my throat feels less like a cheese grater.”   
“That’s good I suppose.”   
“Quite.” You chuckled. “I don’t know what was in that medicine you gave me but it worked.”   
“The pharmacist recommended it.” He mumbled, tapping his chin thoughtfully. Although he was happy that you were finally cured, part of him was suspicious. The recovery was remarkably quick.   
“Well, if you’re feeling better I don’t suppose you’ll want food then…”   
“I could eat.”

You and Steve sat across from each other at the table. It was the first time you’d left your room in a couple of days and the feeling was indescribable, not to mention the food was better now that you could taste it again. The last time you had been in this room was when you were watching Loki from your seat on the sofa. You made a mental note to return the blanket to him from that day now that you were finally better.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Steve said with a smile, making you realise that you had in fact been silent for the past few minutes. You opened your mouth to speak but your voice was caught as company arrived. Thor’s arrival into a room was not something to be missed, he made sure of that, and thus it wasn’t easy to miss Loki either, who slipped in behind him.   
“Lady (Y/n)!” The former boomed. “You are well, I see.”  
“Much better, thank you Thor.”

Loki said nothing but instead nodded cordially. You reciprocated, safe in the knowledge that Steve would not notice as barely any of the Avengers acknowledged his presence any more. Thor took a seat next to you, looking deeply in your eyes as if to examine you for himself.   
“You shall frighten her  _brother_ , if you insist on being so close.” Loki sneered from the kitchen where he was searching the cupboards. Waving his hand, Thor persisted.   
“I am simply checking that you are as well as you say. And I do concur.”

“I’m glad you’re satisfied.” You laughed, before continuing with your meal.   
“The recovery is miraculous.” He commented.   
“Down to Steve in the end, I think you’ll find.” Steve flashed a smug grin at his companion that was cut off by the sound of something smashing from the kitchen. Standing up at the ruckus, you noticed that the usually collected Loki was standing around shards of a mug that had spread about the floor.

“Slipped…” He whispered before making to clear it up. With an indignant sigh, you moved to help.   
“(Y/n) please. You shouldn’t-” You shot Steve a glare and he closed his mouth. Thor smiled at you appreciatively. Kneeling down, you helped Loki pick up the shards of china from the kitchen floor. The island counter concealed you from the watchful eyes of Thor and Steve, though by the sound of it they’d begun another conversation.

“You shouldn’t be helping me. You might still be weak, even if you are better.”   
“First you drop a mug, and now you’re being considerate. What’s going on?” You mutter. With a growl, Loki ignored your question and continued clearing the mess. A pain shot up from your finger and looking down you noticed crimson beginning to stain your hand. Having been so focused on watching Loki, you’d cut yourself on a broken piece of the mug. You winced and brought the wound to your mouth where you sucked it gently.   
“What did you do?” Loki asked in a monotonous, condescending tone. You hadn’t realised that he’d seen. You took your finger out of your mouth to reply nonetheless.   
“It’s just a cut. It’s fine.”

But Loki’s forceful hand had taken yours and he was examining it scrupulously. He then waved his remaining palm over the top and a soft emerald glow seeped into the laceration, which promptly closed. Immediately, he continued to clean. You, however, paused.   
“So that’s why you dropped the cup.”

He looked up at you, a curious eyebrow raised.   
“I’m sorry?”   
“ _You_. You cured me. That’s why I got better so quickly. And then when I thought Steve was the actual reason, you dropped the cup. But… why?” With flushed cheeks, Loki turned away, arranging the last of the broken crockery into a pile. Your head was trying to piece things together but it still made no sense. The blanket… The care… The mention of a kiss…

“Oh…” You murmured. Loki’s eyes snapped up and met yours. You’d figured it out. He hadn’t meant for it to happen but the more time he spent in your presence, the worse his affliction had become. Caring for you and seeing you vulnerable for once had sparked something within him that he didn’t know he could feel –  _and you’d figured it out._  Yet you said nothing. Instead you smiled. You leaned forward and pressed your lips gently against his cheek.   
“Thank you.” You whispered before standing up and leaving.   
“Everything alright?” Steve asked upon spying you.   
“Yeah. Just gotta find a dustpan and brush.

You left the kitchen with Loki kneeling on the floor, staring forward, astonished.

* * *

A knock at the door disrupted Loki’s evening reading session (which he had begun earlier that morning, after clearing away the mug). He stood up and marked his page before answering. If part of him had expected you to be behind the door, it had been correct. You stood looking up at him with a familiar blanket in your arms.   
“Last time I tried to give this back to you, I was still sick. Guess I don’t have to worry about that being the case this time.”   
“I certainly hope not.” Loki said. He didn’t often feel uncomfortable but this was one of those rare occasions.

Clearing your throat, you held out the blanket and he took it gratefully. You smiled, nodded, and turned to leave. The trickster watched you go wondering whether or not to follow you before eventually reacting. Turning around, he tossed the blanket onto his bed. Then he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.   
“Miss (Y/n).” He called out and delighted in seeing you turn back towards him.

“I believe I owe you something as well.” He explained when he was finally in front of you once more. Leaning down, Loki delicately kissed you and felt your body rise up to meet him. His fingers had tilted your chin upwards and it caused the most wonderful feeling to flower in his stomach. It was like magic. You parted and he found himself staring into your smiling eyes longer than he intended.   
“I couldn’t do that before.”   
“I remember.”

You paused and waited for him to say something more. His fingers were still on your chin, keeping your gaze upon him and he, in turn, continued to lose himself in your eyes. Something within in you wanted to move, to stand on your tiptoes and kiss him again, but you held back. After clearing his throat, Loki stepped back and smiled curtly.

“Goodnight.” He sighed before walking away. You remained stationary and he knew exactly why – it was for the same reason that he was returning to his room. Were he not to then he would’ve stayed there all night in your embrace, his lips locked with yours. The thought made him giddy but he managed to make it to his room before the temptation turned him around.

Loki didn’t know much about Midgardian diseases, but love was definitely the worst of them all.


	5. Chapter 5

“What we did-” Loki began.   
“What  _you_  did.” You corrected him. He growled a little at the interruption.   
“Regardless; what happened yesterday was completely accidental. And moreover, it was wrong.”   
“Absolutely.” You agreed.   
“We shouldn’t have done it.”   
“No, we shouldn’t.”

Earlier that day you had had your fingers tangled in Loki’s hair and your body pressed against him, practically fused together with the heat of passion. It had been the first time since having a cold that your temperature was not a result of your affliction. Since then the two of you had avoided each other completely, neither able to admit the obvious or deny it. Your emotions were a dangerous and toxic combination that you couldn’t fathom. Loki felt the same – the premise of falling for a Midgardian was sickening and strange to the God. He couldn’t be sure it was real, or right. Thus the current conversation was the first time the two of you had spoken since then. Be it through avoiding eye contact or evading dialogue with each other, the two of you had practiced extensive measures to ensure that you need never address the situation.

And that had lasted for a few hours.

By the late evening a combination of sleeplessness and thirst for answers led you to Loki’s bedroom where you had stirred him from sleep by beating your fists against the entrance. Now you stood in his room leaning against the closed door with the tired Asgardian in front of you in an equally defensive stance.   
“It was just an impulsive action.” Loki argued.   
“No real emotion behind it at all.”   
“Quite. Purely instinctive.”

There was a pause.   
“I simply felt vulnerable because I had just gotten over a cold.” You stated, eager to fill the silence.   
“Indeed. And I simply sought recompense for having relieved that sickness.”   
“Yes, I wholly believe-”

Loki pushed you against the door as he pressed his lips firmly against yours. With a feathery gasp, you dove your fingers beneath the ebony waves of his hair and tugged at them, holding his head against your own. He grunted and leant against you a little harder, contributing further to your breathlessness. All of your inhibitions melted away in the kiss and before you knew what was happening, your legs were sliding upwards and twisting around his hips, appealing to him as he moaned your name. His hands responded, moving lower and taking a hold of your thighs. His kisses became shorter, breathier, and more desperate as he turned around and carried you further into the room. As he walked you tugged his head back more violently and placed wet, open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Collapsing onto the bed, Loki lay between your legs, capturing your lips from above and letting your fingers roam his body. The more you persisted, the more agitated he became, kissing you harder and faster. In turn, your back arched and he delighted in the feeling of it pressing against him with increasing urgency.

* * *

The door made a gentle click as you closed it behind you and tiptoed into the hallway. The surrounding air felt significantly colder than Loki’s room for reasons you would care to forget. In fact you were so eager to escape the room that you had only pulled on your clothes loosely before departing. You became so preoccupied with attempting to button your shirt that you failed to notice Steve before you ran into him in the corridor.   
“Sorry, I- (Y/n)?”   
“Hi Steve.” You said, feeling your cheeks colouring furiously.

“Are… Are you alright?” He stammered. He was looking between your eyes and the ceiling as if there was something incredibly interesting plastered upon it. A gym bag was on his shoulder, though you had a feeling that the red of his cheeks was not the result of exercise. He adjusted the bag strap continuously whilst trying to ignore you chaotic clothing.   
“Sorry, wardrobe malfunction.” You chuckled nervously.   
“Ah, of course. Anything I can help with?” He said, apparently feeling much less anxious with an explanation – even if it was a horrible one.   
“Help? No, I don’t think you can help; not unless you’ve got some spare clothes in that bag.”

The feeling of walking into the tower kitchen in Captain America’s shirt and shorts was oddly satisfying. As you suspected he hadn’t yet trained and was more than willing to provide you with a more modest outfit. The thought of descending multiple floors just to reach your own quarters was not an appealing thought and despite attempting to be humble and decline the offer, Steve had practically insisted.  _Ever the gentleman_ , you thought as you entered the room. The clothes you now wore were comprised of a pair of sweats and an oversized shirt (although you didn’t doubt that Steve would probably have filled it out rather nicely). The familiar scent kept you feeling warm and comfortable as you poured yourself a hot drink and slumped onto the couch. Certain parts of you were still feeling a little sore but the sofa provided excellent relief.

“Woah there, hot stuff. Whose clothes are they?” Tony grinned when he noticed your attire. The billionaire was nursing his own drink on the seat next to yours.   
“I woke up early this morning and was having multiple wardrobe issues. Steve was kind enough to lend me his training gear.”   
“Well why didn’t you go back and change?”   
“I was already a few floors away.” You said, hoping that you still possessed your ability to think on your feet despite your fatigue. “It’s just not been my day. My alarm didn’t go off so my head was all over the place.”   
“Of course.” Tony took a swig of his drink and you knew instinctively that he didn’t believe you. Yet by the grace of God, he wasn’t pressing any further and you were more than happy to let him think you had slept with Steve if it put him off the scent.

“Anyway, now that I’m a bit more relaxed I think I will go and change. I can give Steve his clothes back then.” Tony said nothing in response, instead choosing to continue sipping his drink. With a roll of your eyes, you left the room, surpassing Clint and Thor on the way. Loki trudged behind them looking severely exhausted and disgruntled. His hair was hectic and rough, and his eyes said that he hadn’t slept well, if at all. Yet there was a pleasant sheen to his skin, and he walked with a proud gait despite an obvious stiffness in his limbs. The former two Avengers greeted you briefly but you didn’t stick around long enough to reciprocate, as Loki’s incredulous stare burned your skin like a hot poker. He seemed to notice whose clothes swathed your body.

“Stark.” Barton said and Tony lifted his glass. Thor stretched and yawned like a roaring lion before obliviously tugging his brother further into the room. The latter had been staring after you down the corridor, rage colouring his cheeks.   
“Where was Miss (Y/n) departing to?” The blonde Asgardian muttered.   
“Her room.” Tony replied. “Or someone’s room at least. I don’t actually know but she came in this morning wearing Rogers’ shirt.”

Clint raised his eyebrows and seeing the response Tony shuffled to the edge of his seat with childish fervour.   
“That’s what  _I_  thought!” He continued, his voice having become a whisper. “But she’s denying it with a hazy alibi about alarm clocks or something.” His current company soon seated themselves nearby as Tony delved into the details of his conversation with you. Loki’s brows were low and his eyes dark.  
“You don’t think…” Clint said, hand rubbing his chin. Tony shrugged.   
“Hard to say. I wouldn’t place any money on it yet though.”

Natasha wasn’t often angry – she had a talent for keeping her wits about her – but certain things tipped her over the edge and being woken up on days she intended to sleep in was one of them. She stormed into the room, red hair flaming and eyes equally vicious, and threw herself into the sofa.   
“I’d say ‘good morning’,” Tony chuckled, polishing off his drink, “but it doesn’t look like it is.”   
“I want to switch rooms.” She hissed. Clint moved to sit by her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “(Y/n) has one of those alarms that gets louder and louder if you don’t turn it off and by the time I reached her room, it was about as loud as a jet engine.”

Clint whipped his head around to look at Stark.   
“You mean she didn’t disable it?” He asked. Nat shook her head.   
“She told me that it hadn’t gone off at all. You’d think she’d know what time she’d set it for…” Tony said with a disbelieving grin.   
“I don’t know.” Natasha sighed. “Either she woke up before it or she didn’t sleep in her room last night.”

Thor was blissfully unaware of the cogs turning in his companions’ brain due to having only just woken. He retrieved Tony’s glass and made for the kitchen, intending to pour everyone some coffee. Natasha, on the other hand, sat up, noticing the gleam in her two friends’ eyes.    
“What is it?” She asked. Needing no more invitation, Tony and Clint divulged their theory and satiated her interest. Everybody was so preoccupied with their own actions that nobody had realised Loki’s disappearance several minutes ago…

You wandered down the corridor, confident that you had dodged several bullets when something hit you out of nowhere and forced you up against the wall. Loki’s eyes twinkled with an emotion you couldn’t quite discern.   
“Do you enjoy mocking me?”  He snarled, hands pinning your wrists above your head.   
“Only when I’m there to see the reaction.”

“Then you must have been incredibly scrupulous.”   
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, for once not lying.   
“You parade around in another’s clothing, making our friends believe that you lay with  _him_. Yet you know perfectly well-”  
“What do I know?” You interrupted with a smirk. You wanted to push the envelope, to see if he would admit it first. However Loki sensed this and looked down with an exasperated sigh.

When he met your gaze once more, something else had enveloped his features. Something more primal, darker, more animalistic.   
“Very well.” He purred. “If you do not know to whom you belong, I shall have to show you.”   
“You must be mistaken. I  _belong_  to no-one.”   
“Not yet. But I will leave my mark on you before this day is done.”   
“I would like to see you try.” You baited. “If you think I shall be taken so easily then you are mistaken yet again.”  
“I cannot be so easily dissuaded.”   
“Then you bring this upon yourself.”

* * *

The next morning Tony had risen bright and early again. He had rather begun to enjoy watching the sun rise with a drink in hand. But another factor had begun to play into his pleasure of the morn. The passing of another night meant that there was another amorous encounter from discovering who had taken (y/n)’s fancy. When Thor entered the room, he sat up.   
“Good morrow, Stark.” He boomed.   
“Morning. No brother this morning?”

“I’m afraid not.” Thor sighed. He took a seat opposite from Tony and gathered his hands in his lap. “It would seem that Loki has contracted a plague over the course of the night. He refuses to leave his bed.”   
“Oh, what a shame.” Tony muttered sardonically, making sure that his lack of sympathy went over Thor’s head. “Nothing serious, I hope?” The God held up his hands.   
“Thankfully not. It is a mere cold, nothing to fret over.”

But Tony very much fretted over it. In fact he almost choked on his drink over the discovery. The image of you confined to your bed with a similar illness caused the grip on his mug to tighten. He continued to repeat his exclamations over and over until Thor was eventually forced to inquire about the reason for his agitation.   
“Let’s just say that I should like to have a little tête-à-tête with that brother of yours.” Tony growled. 


	6. Chapter 6

Thoughts and images plagued your mind when you awoke that morning. As your eyes drifted back to the day before when your legs were around Loki’s waist, you shuddered and pulled the covers up over your head. They did little to protect you from your own imagination, however, so you tossed them aside and left the bed altogether. Your second encounter with the trickster God had been incited by his jealousy. Bruises, bites, and general pain decorated your body and you prayed that a hot shower might distract you from their presence.

Shedding your night clothes you let the hot water run over you and pushed aside memories that threatened to penetrate your focus whilst you were so exposed. Even the simple act of showering had now become tainted. Running your fingers through your sopping hair, you waited a few more minutes before stepping out and wrapping a towel around yourself. Every action that you completed thereafter – brushing your teeth, towelling off, combing your hair – required your full attention lest your thoughts drift and as a result it took you three times as long to leave the bathroom.

You changed into a turtle neck sweater and a pair of jeans, a modest outfit that covered the pink and purple blemishes which had been left on your skin.  
_“You are mine.”_ Loki’s words rung in your ears as you thought about the bruises’ origins. You adjusted the collar of your jumper and even let your damp hair down to be extra safe of their concealment. Stepping out of the room, you prayed for a normal day only to hear raised voices from the floor above.

With a sigh, you made for the elevator. Deep down you knew where they were because there hadn’t been an argument within the walls of the Avengers Tower that didn’t somehow originate with Loki. So you weren’t surprised to see, when the lift doors opened, Tony kicking the door to the Asgardian’s bedroom at the other end of the corridor. Fearful would have been a better word: you were fearful that he was angry over something he might have discovered… By his side were Clint and Thor, the former of whom had arrived shortly before you but from the opposite direction.

Seeing their ignorance to your presence, you decided to remain silent and ascertain the motives behind the ruckus.  
“JARVIS, get me inside.” Tony yelled out and the door swung open, hitting the back wall with a crack. Clint flashed Thor a grim and confused expression but the God had his back to you, leaving you without knowledge of his response. Did Thor know or was he just as clueless as Barton? Did Tony even know? Or had Loki just left the gas taps on in the lab again?

“You filthy, disgusting son of a bitch.” Tony’s voice echoed as he stormed inside. Thor and Hawkeye followed him inside and you in turn stepped out of the elevator. You pressed your back against the wall and pulled a compact mirror out of your jeans’ pocket. Holding it up at the right angle, you were able to observe the situation without fear of being seen. Loki was barely awake when he felt a pair of strong hands grabbing at his bedclothes and heaving him onto the floor. Immediately Thor and Hawkeye leapt into action, the former rushing to his sick brother’s aid whilst the latter wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist.

Tony kicked and yelled as Clint pulled him backwards, demanding to be released so that he might give ‘that bastard’ what he apparently deserved.  
“It seems like you’ve got some explaining to do.” Clint growled. Loki coughed a little before standing and placing himself on the edge of his bed. Thor attempted to support him but the icy God was quick to shrug off his brother’s affection.  
“Why is it that I am the person under interrogation when _he_ ,” Loki stared pointedly at the panting Tony, “attacked _me_?”

“You should be thankful I’m even giving you a chance to explain yourself – because if I find out that he’s got a legitimate reason to be pissed, then you can be damn well sure I’ll let him carry on.” Thor stepped in front of Loki who rolled his eyes.  
“I assure you that I am wholly unaware as to what-”  
“He’s been sleeping with (y/n).” Tony stated.

The situation shifted from ear-splitting volume to an equal silence. Your stomach dropped and your ears began to ring. You couldn’t tell whether the world had in fact gone silent or whether the sound of your racing heart had just become significantly louder. It seemed unlikely that Thor could be stunned into total quiet. His brother made no move to defend or denounce himself, sitting perfectly still with barely a change of expression.  
“I don’t know for how long,” Tony continued, “and I don’t know when it started. But he has. How do you think he caught his cold?”

“Captain Rogers has been with her also. Is it not possible that he passed the disease to me?”  
“Without catching it first himself? Nice try, I’m not stupid.”  
“Mr Stark, he is, as you put it, a super soldier. It is perfectly plausible that he might transmit the disease without contracting it. Not to mention,” an elegant smirk spread onto Loki’s features, “he’s renowned for surviving these sorts of conditions.” Clint had to place a hand on Tony’s shoulder to stop him going berserk again.  
“You speak without purpose, brother.” Thor said. “Please, talk openly and let us avoid these falsehoods. Does Stark speak the truth? Have you slept with Miss (Y/n)?”

Your breath caught and you wondered how Loki should answer. Your eyes were focused on his reflection in the mirror and for a moment you thought that he might have looked back but it was only fleeting. Not wanting to hear his response, you fled. You couldn’t tell what spurred the tears in your eyes – fear, anger, shame – but they were there nonetheless and you were forced to wipe them away as you scurried back to your room.

* * *

 

Loki felt horrid. He lay in bed, with a green blanket over his lap, and stared at the ceiling. His hands lay on his stomach where a sickening feeling had continued to pool. For a long time he convinced himself that it was purely the ‘cold’ that he had developed but something else was present in it. He was desperate for rest but every time he closed his eyes flashbacks of his earlier conversation had appeared.

 _“Does it bother you Stark?” Loki purred. “Does it infuriate you to know that she chose me over someone like you?” The man’s hands were curled into fists and his breathing was erratic. The two others in the room were also silent, the gravity of Loki’s confession sticking all words to their tongues._  
_“She’s like a sister to me…” Tony growled._  
 _“But it still angers you.” He began to step forward lightly, ignoring the screams of his woozy head. “It makes your blood boil to know that I have tainted her, touched her, lain with her. The image of our bodies intertwined makes you want to scream. The thought of her swollen lips moaning my name fuelling your pulse; her legs wide and-”_

Loki touched his bruised eye gingerly before shaking the memories away. In truth he didn’t care. The Avengers had no control over him, despite what they might like to think and (y/n) was just proof of that. As he had reminded them, she chose to sleep with him as much as the other way around. On cue, three abrupt knocks came from his door. When the person on the other side stepped in regardless, he knew who it was.

“I heard you were sick.” You said, remaining by the door and leaning against it, as he had once done.  
“A lot of things are being said about me.” He replied, rolling over to look at you.  
“Yes, I- what happened to your eye?”  
“Mr Stark happened.”  
“Mm, I’ve just come from a lecture.” You muttered, pulling up a chair. In your hands was a Tupperware box that you placed on the bedside chest.

“It’s a chilli.” You said, folding your arms and leaning back. “I found it was the only thing I could eat when my taste buds were whack.” Loki raised an eyebrow.  
“Have you come to care for me?” His eyes glittered wantonly. “Because I can think of much more pleasant activities than-”  
“No.” You cut him off abruptly and the God slammed his mouth closed. “I am here to put an end to this.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”  
“ _This_. Us. It stops now. Frankly it never should have started. What we did was… wrong.”  
“You’re beginning to resemble the conversation we shared before we-”  
“Yes, well, it’s intentional. We never should have started hooking up. I’m still not entirely certain why we ever did.”  
“Oh that much is obvious, my dear.” Loki said, sitting up and turning towards you. “There is clearly a burning attraction between us.”

His words were like liquid silver, soft and smooth. They tempted you and enticed you but you were too steadfast in your intentions to fall prey again, as you had in the past.  
“But is that enough? If a past version of myself looked forward, I very much doubt that I would want a relationship founded solely on lust and attraction. And I suspect that a future me wouldn’t be particularly happy about having done it either. So I’m getting out. Before it gets worse.”  
“You know not what you are saying. You are simply confused and are trying to appease the others.” Loki leaned forward and touched your hand but you stood up and loomed over him.

“No, Loki. I shan’t let you manipulate me.” You stated, staring into his darkening eyes. You could see the anger that was beginning to fester within them. “This isn’t me appeasing anyone but myself. I want something more than this, I need a relationship based on emotion and mutual trust, not something that makes me feel guilty and shameful. I want someone I can connect with in more ways than just physically.” The words came easier as you began to realise the truth behind them. Yet they only seemed to infuriate Loki further. He stood, meeting your gaze equally, if on shaky legs.

“And I am none of those things? You imply that I gave you no pleasure but the things that you cried during our encounters tell a very different story…” He traced a finger down the side of your cheek but you pulled away, stepping backwards. “You cannot tell me that you do not want this, that you do not desire me.”  
“I _do_ want this. My body has made that much clear to me; but that’s the difference between you and me. I’m saying no, not because I don’t want to, but because it’s the right thing to do.”

You turned on your heel and made for the door, stopping only to hear Loki’s final retort. It was a growl, a snap, a bite.  
“You were never worth my affections anyway.” He sneered.  
“No, Loki. You’re wrong. You never were, nor will you ever be, worth _mine_.” You quit the room and left with your dignity intact and your head held high. Loki stood for a minute, watching you leave him before crawling back under the covers and wishing for sleep.  


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is long as hell but I just couldn’t shorten it any further. It’s also kind of feelsy so if you want to really tug on your heartstrings (as I know some of you sick lil shits will - myself included) then play the cover of 'All You Need Is Love' by Rae Morris when you read the line “I always did have the worst luck.” Enjoy!

Thor was careful returning to Loki’s room as he had just seen you leaving it. One half of his brain argued with the other as it collectively questioned what had ensued since he’d been gone. He wanted to believe that you had been sensible and had begun your separation from his brother, but the more naïve part of him hoped he wasn’t so bad that you would feel obligated to abandon him. It was difficult being the closest thing Loki had to a friend, and so desperately did Thor want him to be well again.  

He just knew that there must be good still remaining within his brother; there had to be. If his work with the Avengers didn’t bring it forth, then perhaps you could. Loki clearly was more… willing to try the latter method. As he stood contemplating such things, he realised that several minutes had passed. Shaking his mane of hair, Thor slipped quietly into the room to see that Loki was curled up under the covers. 

“Miss (Y/l/n) has just departed, I see.” Thor said, his voice hushed to a gentle murmur. Loki grunted. “Am I to presume that the pair of you are still civil?”   
“We are neither here nor there.” Loki snarled. His voice was only just audible from underneath the blanket. “We are neither copulating nor contesting; so yes, as you put it, we are  _civil_.” Thor smiled sadly and moved to the bedside. He peeled back the covers and looked at the back of his brother’s head.   
“If I knew not better, brother, I should say that you were mourning the loss.”

“Then you clearly know nothing. She meant less to me than you do, stupid ape.”   
“Come now, Loki. I saw the flicker in your body. Drop the mirage and let me see you as you are.”

Instead of solely the man’s body shimmering from sight, most of the room did too. Paintings and furniture were scattered, the bedclothes completely removed from the bed and tossed into the corner of the room. Even the curtains had suffered Loki’s wrath, torn and hanging limply. In the centre, on the floor, curled into a ball, was Loki. His hair was dishevelled and his fists balled.

“Before you speak,” his head was tucked in and thus his voice stifled, “do not assume that I miss her.”   
“Then pray tell me, what incites your emotions thusly?” Loki let out a howl and the bedside chest toppled over as a result. It appeared that the trickster was in no control of his magic.   
“It has nothing to do with  _emotion_. I am enraged. I am angry. I am wronged. She dared to leave me.  _Me_! She insulted me, slighted and deceived me. Toyed with me and then abandoned me.”   
“As you have done to others, Loki.” Thor said calmly. After a silence, Loki lifted his head and Thor then saw how exhausted he looked. His face was grey and beaded with sweat and his eyes seemed hollow in his head.

“I do not miss her… And yet, I long to know how she could do this to me.”   
“I fear,” Thor sighed, beginning to move the furniture back into place, “that the pair of you are more alike than you wish to admit – and that bothers you.”   
“Nonsens-”   
“Hush. You think yourself indestructible and so seek to prove, to flaunt, your immortality by provoking the weaknesses of others. But now that someone has treated you the same way, and for their own self-preservation, it hurts. You feel scorned because you cannot admit that this is how you have made others suffer.”

Loki remained silent. For a while he simply watched Thor tidy, fix his mistakes, as he always had done.   
“I think you’ll find I know you better than you realise.” He said with a smile once finished. Remaining silent, Loki let himself be helped back to bed where Thor retrieved some of the food he had come in with. This caused Loki to open his mouth.   
“Actually…” He croaked. “There is a plastic box on the windowsill. I think I would prefer the contents of that.”

* * *

The finding of this HYDRA base was purely coincidental. By translating some of the resources found within the last, the locations of several other bases had been brought to light and this was the penultimate one of that group. The blockades of HYDRA soldiers proved a worthy foe but when facing such a formidable team, there was only so much of a fight you could put up.

The base was hidden at the foot of a mountain and the surrounding area was thick with green, and overgrown. Having dealt with one swarm, Loki made his way through the valley towards the rendezvous point. It wasn’t his first mission, but it was the first one since the day that you had left him, a whole 7 weeks ago, and so his mind was a little distracted – or, depending on how you viewed it, more focused. From behind a rock he watched you; a combination of pent up anger and skill releasing itself onto those who threatened your life. With elegance, precision, and fury, you attacked your enemies so that they dropped like flies.

Loki found himself in awe of you. He observed, in the unlikely case that you should need assistance, as you wrapped your legs around the neck of a masked man and twisted sharply. A show of such strength, independence, and tenacity couldn’t help but impress him. He found himself feeling… something.

Scolding himself, Loki turned away. He wasn’t supposed to be attracted to you anymore, he was supposed to be above that, above such feelings, above _you_. He returned to the mouth of the valley as you finished off the last of the sentries. Using the back of your hand you wiped a bead of sweat from your brow. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, but your obvious fatigue didn’t stop you reporting to the others through your earpiece.

Loki took the opportunity to step out from the shadows. He crossed over a few of the strewn bodies as the last entrails of the conversation reached his ears.   
“Rendezvous point secured.” You noticed the lean form of the trickster gliding towards you and nodded curtly. “Loki has also arrived. Awaiting you now, Cap.”

Instead of striking up conversation, as you might have been encouraged to do with anyone else, you began to deal with the bodies around you. Upon your arrival at the rendezvous point you had been surprised by how many men were in the vicinity. To say you were holding a grudge against the organization would be an understatement. Therefore it didn’t take you long to be rid of the men, a rage-filled cocktail saturating your thirst for vengeance. Once you had secured a place for the Avengers to assemble, you had intended to await their arrival – only for Loki to arrive in their stead.

You frisked one of the bodies and removed his weapons without paying any mind to your current company. Loki sat on a nearby rock with a small dagger in his hand, twirling it between his fingers before picking up a nearby stick and electing to carve the end of it.   
“I don’t envy the man who has to take on the infamous Loki Laufeyson whilst armed with a stick.” You muttered cynically.   
“A  _sharpened_  stick.”   
“Oh, of course, not just any stick; that’d be stupid.”

Loki grunted and hacked a large chunk out of the wood, embellishing the motion as he did so and staring at you from under low brows. This was the most conversation you’d shared in 7 weeks. Aside from the occasional brief greeting in the mornings, as was actively encouraged by Thor, the pair of you remained silent around each other.

Several minutes passed and Loki’s brain began to throb with boredom.   
“It would seem that our colleagues are running a little behind.”   
“I expect they’ll be along shortly. Don’t trouble your mind trying to pretend that you care.” You muttered, standing up and adjusting your clothing. As practical as combat trousers and a shirt had proved to be, the fabric was beginning to itch.   
“I do not care, nor do I pretend to. Contrary to what you believe, though, I am capable of such things.”   
“Is that so? Well, forgive me, for I’ve seen no evidence to suggest that.” You snapped, standing up and facing Loki with folded arms.   
“Just because I do not actively showcase my emotions, does not mean I am without them.”

“Really? We’re doing this  _now_?” You said, voice high pitched and quaking. “Because you’ve had long enough to change my mind and I don’t think the battlefield is the most appropriate place to be starting.”   
“I don’t intend to change your mind. Simply to enlighten it.”   
“Enlighten it.” You laughed scornfully. “Am I so beneath you that you think I need enlightening?”

“There is only one way I should like to think you beneath me, but I wager that you would rather not talk about that here.” Your face reddened and you exhaled more forcefully than usual. Loki stood and took a step towards you. He pointed the dagger in your direction as he spoke. “I would have thought it was obvious, even to someone as stubborn as yourself, how I felt towards you.”   
“Are you trying to tell me that in all of that time, you  _actually_ cared about me?”

Loki paused. Hesitated.   
“I-”  
“Shut up.” You said, face suddenly falling serious.   
“I shall not be-”  
“No, seriously, shut up.” You insisted, holding a hand to your ear. The coms unit wasn’t renowned for breaking down, nor losing signal. As a result the sound of static that was coming through the earpiece was, to say the least, alarming. Focusing your hearing, the sound of voices could faintly be heard.

Loki’s face was disinterested. He seemed to think you were stalling. He folded his arms and waited with uncharacteristic patience for you to continue the conversation. Yet you remained, eyes closed and attempting to make out the words that Steve could very feebly be heard repeating.   
“…vous… ised… -et… ut…”

“Do you expect me to believe-”  
“If you don’t hush up, I’ll stab you with your own stick.” You hissed, jabbing a finger towards him. After recovering from the abruptness of your outburst, Loki adopted a more concerned expression. Usually, little aside from him could aggravate you so much.   
“…desvous…romised…get…out…”   
“Steve? Can you hear me? What’s happening?”

“Rendesvous… compromised… get out now!”

You had barely heard the words before movement at the edge of the glade caught your attention. An immeasurable amount of men suddenly emerged from the shadow provided by the forest, each of them armed and closing in on the pair of you with terrifying speed. Without thinking, you stepped closer to Loki. He spun away from you and looked his attackers in the eye, all of whom were advancing with their weaponry poised. You were surrounded, you realised as you stepped closer and closer to Loki.   
“It would seem,” the God murmured when he felt your back against his, “that they are under the impression we intend to surrender.”   
“Well they always were optimistic.”

5 minutes. It took 5 minutes, after Loki plunged his stake into the forehead of the nearest man, to finish them off. On your own it might’ve taken longer or even been impossible but together you just about managed, and in record timing. By the end of the battle, you were both panting fiercely and you had to lean against a nearby rock to catch your breath.   
“That was too close…” You wheezed. Loki stretched and groaned in agreement.   
“I suggest that we make haste to locate the others.”

You nodded and began stepping over bodies towards Loki. He had turned away in order to determine from whence your attackers had come, when you noticed that one of the dead men was not quite fulfilling his description. He lifted his head up and looked around, eliciting a smirk from you.  _Such audacity_ , you thought.  However your smile was wiped clean off when you realised he was also lifting up a hand; in it, a gun.

You were surprised at how light Loki was but equally you had never been more grateful of the fact. His body crumpled when you threw yours over it and also did an excellent job of softening the blow between you and the ground, although that wasn’t the source of pain about which you were most concerned.

“What the hell are you-” Loki whirled around only to catch a glimpse of the armed man taking aim once more. Instinctively, he threw a hand outwards and the soldier’s neck snapped, his head promptly slumping back onto the ground with a dull thud.

You rolled off of Loki and onto your back, eyes facing the white sky. You didn’t have to look to know that the bullet had hit you instead. Right in the gut.   
“I always did have the worst luck…” You said, chuckling airily until a stab of pain winded you. Loki faced you, his ebony mane concealing the look of confusion written on his face. Confusion slowly evolved into realisation as he saw the meaning behind your words taking the shape of a crimson flower on your stomach. Each petal stained and drenched your shirt.

He scrambled to your side and gazed up and down your body repeatedly, eyes wide and mouth open. His breath was even shorter than yours.   
“What are you…? Why did you…?” He whispered harshly, each word stammered with its own staccato. Another sharp pain penetrated your gut, causing you to wince and release a whimper. Hearing your cry, Loki shook his head and cleared his throat.   
“Sorry, I- I- I’ll help… I can help.” He began nodding, as if to convince himself as well as you. “You’re going to be fine.”

He placed his shaking hands on the wound and tried to prevent further bleeding; you hadn’t thought he would be so terrible under pressure. With speed that could rival a snail, you reached down towards your pocket and tore it open, pulling a syringe out of your medi-pack. You plunged it into your side and bit your lip, the edge of which was already tainted by blood that was seeping from the corner of your mouth.    
“An… Anaesthetic…” You managed to rasp.   
“Right. Okay, yes good.” Loki flashed a forlorn smile before looking you over again.

That was the last thing you heard him say as the world began to dip into silence. For a minute, he looked over his shoulder, gaze and attention elsewhere. When he turned back to you, his mouth moved vehemently, clearly speaking with fervour but there was only an emptiness in your ears. His hands were doing little to help now, blood flowing thick and fast from your shivering body. Luckily everything from your abdomen down was numb.  

Breathing slowly became a tiresome act, choked and painful, your dry and cracked lips were now coloured rosy with blood. Quickly Loki cottoned on that you were fading and attempted to gain some sort of response from you, to keep you talking to him though you couldn’t hear the questions that he asked of you. His eyes were still wide and frightened, they even looked like they were moistening but that was likely a trick of the light.  _The light_. The sky began to glow and shimmer and shine. Despite the God’s hands moving to your shoulders, where he proceeded to shake them gently, your focus could not be drawn from the heavens. It was so blue, so clear, so white. It was mesmerizing.

Loki’s face gradually got paler and paler, the sky spilling into every part of your irises and brightening your sight. His mouth could still be seen opening and closing, talking to you and pleading with you in vain. You heard nothing but the silence of the sky. You closed your eyes and let it whisper you to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

You didn’t know what death was supposed to feel like. All the songs and movies say that it’s peaceful and calm, like falling asleep, but you were certain that you shouldn’t be conscious enough to contemplate it.

The bright white had become a sudden dark. White was now black and the sky was no longer singing. Instead you heard a faint dripping – _blip… blip… blip…_ – accompanied by a crackling that seemed to echo and resonate around you. In a surge of courage and hope, you peeled your eyes apart and stared upwards. The ceiling was grey and brown all at once, contoured in the strangest of ways and decorated with moving shadows, black creatures that scurried across the russet landscape. They were rocks. The ceiling was made of rocks. A cave?

The edge of your sight glowed orange and your eyes followed the stony roof until it curved to become a wall, running vertically and still glowing. Each rock that protruded gained its own shadow that danced before your eyes with exuberance. You shifted your head, ignoring the fact that it was buzzing and dense, to look further along the wall until your eyes were met with something else. At first you recoiled, the bright light of the campfire surprising you, but you quickly adjusted and stretched out your arm towards the blaze, feeling its heat creep onto your fingers and slither up your arm.

The flames crackled and spat elegantly, holding your attention like yarn would a cat until you noticed something just to the left of it; a shadow that did not move, did not dance.

Loki’s face was darkened by the fire and he seemed to watch it with intense zeal. The shadows washing over his form blended into the dark rocks behind him; had he not moved slightly, you might not have seen him. He was leaning back against the wall with his arms folded and his long legs stretched out, feet warming by the fire. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair before settling back a little more.

You tried to lift your clayey head and immediately his eyes turned to you. With a parted mouth he leapt forward and scurried to your side.    
“Don’t get up.” You grunted disapprovingly and continued regardless. “I mean it (y/n), you’re alive but you’re not okay.”

“What did you do? Where are we?” You demanded, ignoring his increasingly stern orders and propping yourself onto your elbows. The anaesthetic had been incredibly effective, making what could have been an excruciating action somewhat bearable (even if your legs felt like the static from a television).    
“Do you ever do as you’re told?” Loki snarled, placing his hands on your shoulders in an attempt to keep you still.   
“You’re the only one who’s ever complained about it.”

With some effort and a little unwanted assistance, you were able to drag yourself to the nearest wall and sit up against it.   
“Will you be still now? You risk re-opening the wound otherwise.” Loki snapped, kneeling next to you where the fire ignited his eyes. Unfortunately, you lacked sufficient breath to make a retort which Loki seemed pleased by. He settled by your side.

It was difficult to count the minutes that you sat in silence without a way of telling the time. The closest thing you had to a ticking clock was the ominous dripping sound, the source of which you still had not determined. Aside from that and the snapping campfire, your humble home bore no sound.

The cave was, in fact, larger than you had initially understood – a badly drawn circle with a roughly 12 foot diameter, with a tunnel to your left that presumably led to the entrance/exit. How you had ended up here, though, was still a mystery and, feeling no longer content with solely deductions, you broke the almost-silence to ask a question.   
“What did you do?”   
“I’m sorry?” Loki sighed.   
“What did you do, to my stomach? I should be dead, I thought I _was_ dead until I woke up here.” He looked at you with his teeth clenched.   
“Well I’m sorry to disappoint. Next time I shall let you bleed.” You shifted slightly in your seat and turned away from him, wanting to fold your arms but thinking better of it.

After another elongated pause, you continued speaking.   
“But you didn’t let me. I’m still here, stuck in your company, and I don’t know how.” Loki grunted and picked up a pebble from his side. He tossed it towards the fire and watched the embers crackle in delight at the disturbance.   
“Yes well…” He grumbled. “Magic has its perks.”

Your jaw was already shaking with exhaustion, but it fell slightly lower than before at Loki’s declaration.   
“You mean you…” You closed your mouth again, anger beginning to consume your shock. “Why would _you_ heal me?”   
“Let me be perfectly clear: I have done no such thing.” He suddenly snapped, wheeling around to face you. “The wound is likely infected and will almost certainly kill you without proper medicinal care. Even if I wanted to, I could not heal a wound so dire.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.” You reminded him and an exasperated Loki stood up, electing to approach the fire rather than grace you with a response. He rubbed his hands and held them over the flames. Recognising his attempts to stall, you waited patiently, watching him warm up and pace from one side of the cave to the other. His walk was elegant and feigned the calm you knew he couldn’t be feeling. He was hiding something and you would wait for as long as it took to unravel him, even if you died of old age in the process. When Loki saw you still watching him fervently, he sighed and rolled his eyes.   
“Why must you be silent when it can only serve to enrage me?” He cried.   
“Because you still haven’t given me an answer.”   
“You are optimistic if you presume I can remember your question.”    
“ _Why did you heal me?_ ” You asked again, pausing after every word to convey your resolve.

* * *

 

Loki couldn’t reach your side fast enough, every movement too slow when he so desperately needed to be fast. He looked over your body, disbelieving, indignant.   
“What are you…? Why did you…?” He spoke coldly, his words prematurely punctuated by his horror. You made no response save for a whisper and it cooled Loki’s boiling rage long enough for him to focus. You were hurt – and it was his fault.   
“Sorry, I- I- I’ll help… I can help.” He stammered. “You’re going to be fine.”

Tentatively he placed his hands on the wound and pressed. Should he be more forceful? Would that hurt you too much? His heart was racing with fear and his breathing was intense to compensate. You winced and he lessened the pressure on your wound until he saw you remove with a syringe from your side. Your bloodied lips formed barely audible words.    
“An… Anaesthetic…”   
“Right. Okay, yes good.” He flashed a smile that he hoped was reassuring before going to apply more pressure to your stomach.

Had Loki been any more focused on you and your injuries, he might not have heard the snap of a twig behind him. But he wasn’t, so he did. Looking over his shoulder, a few of the shadows between the trees moved indistinctly. The shine of metal glimmering in the sunlight caught his gaze and his stomach sunk. He turned back to face you.   
“Right, okay. Exquisite timing.” He sighed. “Can you move? (Y/n)? Can you move? We have to depart, I’m afraid.”

Your breathing was beginning to slow and your eyes were empty and unfocused. You stared past him, barely reacting to his voice anymore.   
“(Y/n)? Oh Gods, (y/n)? Please, speak, (y/n). I must hear your voice. Tell me you’re okay. Tell me you can hear me.”

His voice began to crack and he felt heat rising to the corners of his eyes.   
“Anything, say _anything_ , please.” He insisted. “Say what you must, I beg of you. Tell me that you loathe me, that you wish never to see me again; it cannot hurt more than this. Please (y/n).” The cold wind that was beginning to whip made Loki’s eyes sting, but that might also have been the tears threatening to spill.

“Come on… Not now. Not now, we were doing so well. You spoke to me again, I shan’t let that be meaningless. I refuse. I shall be as stubborn as you if I have to but I shall not let you die.” His hands abandoned your bleeding abdomen to shake your shoulders gently. Your head wobbled but still your eyes did not move from the pale sky that seemed now to be mocking him.

Loki continued to plead with you until your eyes slowly fluttered shut.   
“No, no, no. You asinine woman, open your eyes, do not ignore me. I am Loki of Jotunheim, you dull creature, and you shall do as I say. I command that you open your eyes.” An agonised whimper left his lips when he saw that you were still. He brushed a piece of hair from your face, not caring about the bloody stain he left on your cheek as a result. When the men behind him finally stepped into the clearing, he leant his head against your own and willed his magic to move them, he cared not where.

When he next opened his eyes the forest and surrounding floor was topped with ivory, glistening in the sunlight. A fierce wind blew and brought the God to his senses, forcing him to look up and around. He blinked a few times, still trying to focus his mind long enough to formulate a plan. The area around him that wasn’t bordered with trees bore a wall of rock, likely another side to the mountain they had been near, and that too was slightly ice-encrusted.

Almost immediately he spotted a break in the rock that was too wide to just be a crack. Opting to act on his hopes rather than his reservations, Loki placed his hands under your arms and dragged you across the snow, painfully aware of the red trail your body was leaving behind. Luckily the snow made heaving your body easier than it might have been elsewhere. He was relieved to find that it was indeed a cave, as he had hoped, into which he began to carry you.

Once inside, Loki wasted no more time and dropped you, somewhat inelegantly to the floor. Placing his hands on your stomach once more, Loki winced at the feeling of hot liquid pulsating out betwixt his fingers, though reminding himself to be optimistic; your heart was, at least, still beating albeit with a terrifying slowness. He bit his lip and persisted, however, letting his magic seep into the wound and praying it would be enough. After a few seconds, the river of blood subsided and Loki let a breathy laugh escape him. A relieved sigh then preceded a sniff before Loki lifted you up once more.

He dragged you further into the safety of the cave, lit a fire, and waited for help. He’d never before wanted to be found by the Avengers but if they didn’t arrive soon, there was no telling that you would make it through the day. Pushing such morbid thoughts aside, he contemplated his own actions in the past hour.

For the last 7 weeks, everything had been back to ‘normal’. Neither of you spoke to the other but in the rare instances that you did, it was bitter and irrational. For those 7 weeks it was as if nothing had changed – and Loki didn’t know how to feel about that fact. Before he might have been glad. He couldn’t stand you most of the time; your obstinacy, your pride, and your sharp tongue incited an irritation in him that even an excellent book could not quell. Reminding himself of such characteristics persuaded him that the anger of your abandoning him would be a quick process.

But then he’d been presented with a paradox. If he cared so little for you, why should he be angry at all? Why should he care that you obviously did not? You had spent plenty of time in each other’s company in much the same way – why should it bother him now? Was it purely because of what might have been? The fire snapped and brought him to reality for a minute. Whilst there, lingering outside of his meditations, he saw your unconscious form splayed on the cave floor. His head flashed to when you’d fallen sick and he smiled despite it all. In that time he’d seen a vulnerability within you, a serenity, a humility that he just couldn’t ignore. In his eyes it rounded your character and balanced you out. It made you severely less complex of a human to understand.

So when you lay underneath him, pale and lifeless, he could see the fire in your eyes dying alongside that innocence. And it was then that he saw something within himself. Loki had realised in that moment that he wanted more. He wanted you to be his again but he also wanted more than just to hold you, to touch you. How had you put it? He wanted to connect with you more than just physically.

Loki, for the first time, had wanted the emotion.

And he refused to let you die without trying to get it back.

* * *

 

“I see…” You whispered, still not sure how to take in his tale. You felt woozy and sick. Loki now sat on the other side of the cave with his back turned to you.   
“I am not the least bit happy about it.” He continued. “You are perhaps the most irritating person I know of, save for my brother, and yet I find myself unable to function without you. Never before would I have considered that a possibility. Before you were ill, I thought you stubborn as an ox and about as appealing as one. But then you became vulnerable and soft and strange. I found myself reaching out to you before I truly understood why.

“Soon things progressed and I found myself attracted to you in ways I cannot comprehend, explain or even begin to describe. Still I could not admit what I wanted, nor what was before my very eyes. Then… you left me; and I reverted to the person I used to be. So infatuated had I become that I was blinded, blinded to the fact that you had changed me just as much as I believed you to have changed. Perhaps you did not change at all. Perhaps only I did and thus I saw you differently. I am still unsure.” Loki sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I cannot explain what I am suffering any other way than by saying: the day you told me such hateful things, that we shared no emotion, no love, was the day I realised that love was _all_ I had for you.”

Loki’s head dropped and he released a shaky breath. Aside from the crackling fire, the only sounds to grace his ears were that of his racing heart and the remnants of his last words, echoing around him. He prayed silently that you would say something, to end his torment. Yet silence persisted and threatened to choke him, wrapping around his throat and catching his breath. The fire whispered torturous words to him, only provoking his heart to beat all the faster.

Unable to withstand the suspense any longer, Loki turned; and his heart stopped altogether. At some point during his speech, your body had slumped to the side and collapsed onto the ground.  Your arm stretched across the floor, reaching out to him. Blood seeped from your stomach again and it scurried forward to join the stained remains of its kin not 3 feet from your body.

Loki hurried to your side and cared not how your fluids stained his clothes as he cupped your face in his hands. It was wilting and pale, and felt horribly heavy. Before he could speak and beg you to awaken, sounds from the mouth of the cave momentarily caught his attention.   
“(Y/n)?” The voice sounded familiar, authoritative, and strong. “(Y/n)? I don’t think she’s-”  
“We’re here!” Loki yelled, voice shattering under the strain of panic and relief that flooded his heart. Never before had he been so happy to hear Captain America’s voice. “We’re here! We’re here! But please, (y/n) needs help, she’s… she’s…” The words broke away from him like thin ice under a heavy boot.

Opting to abandon his fragile words, Loki tried to heave your limp body towards the cave’s entrance, towards help, breaking into sobs as he failed to drag you more than an inch. His body was starved of food and rest, making his arms weak and his vision blurred with the strain. The world seemed to slow as each movement became more sluggish than that last, the very lines of the atmosphere blurring into each other. The cacophony of silence hushed the sound of boots thundering into the cave. Two hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back, away from you, though he protested by kicking and opening his mouth. Whether he yelled or not was unclear, his ears still ringing with quiet. Then a vision of red, white, and blue swept in and lifted you into its arms, retreating immediately afterwards for the exit. Voices hummed something that resembled your name but they were fuzzy and bland, inaudible to Loki’s weary mind.

Looking up, he saw Thor’s face smiling down at him. His cheeks were red and frost-bitten but the smile he bore upon meeting his brother’s gaze warmed them instantaneously. The Asgardian kneeled by Loki and placed two large hands either side of his tear-stained face.   
“You have done well, brother.” His earnest voice broke through the haze. “You are safe now, and we may go home.”


	9. Chapter 9

Loki’s eyes fluttered apart and revealed a shadowed ceiling. He didn’t remember falling asleep but his entire memory seemed to have merged. Images of blood and fire stained his eyelids; he daren’t close them again.  
“I hope you are feeling rested,” said a warm voice. Shifting slightly, he felt the gentle touch of a sheet covering his body. A pillow comforted his head from beneath, a head that felt irritatingly heavy when he tried to lift it. How long had he been asleep?

“When did I-”  
“The journey back.” Thor smiled. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so exhausted – your eyes were wavering for most of the flight, though their focus never shifted. You spent the entire flight by her side.”

“How is she?” Loki asked with sudden fervour. He turned to Thor and saw him, really _saw him_ , in the dim bedside light. Thor’s face was hollow and pale, weighted with lines of worry.  
“She is stable, for now.” He said, looking solemn, contradictory to the words that filled his brother’s heart with hope. “A lot of blood was lost and that has left her condition critical.”  
“But she is alive?”  
“Yes, Loki. For now (Y/n) is alive.”

“You continue,” Loki said, “to reiterate ‘for now’. Am I to presume you fear the worst?” Thor paused, punctuating the silence with a sigh.  
“The others have been saying their goodbyes. They too share my concern that we were, despite it all, too late to her aid.” The ends of Loki’s mouth wavered. “We hastened to find you both the minute that we happened upon the rendezvous point but it looked like a massacre… and we feared the worst.”

“You mean ‘hoped’ for the worst.” Loki spat. Thor saw no reason to correct, knowing the argument to be futile.  
“The ignorance was the worst part. Bodies were strewn everywhere and I wished that yours had been among them, Loki, just so I could’ve known where you were. It was only when Stark located a spattering of blood on the other side of the mountain that we felt a simultaneous surge of dread and hope.”

Thor sighed again. His sunken eyes stared at Loki, who noticed that they had lost their usual sheen. He turned away and shook his head gently. The hair that hadn’t been matted against the pillow quivered.  
“I wish to see (y/n) now.”  
“I understand, though I wager you are still weak, brother. Perhaps-”

“I wish to see (y/n) _now_.”

* * *

 

The medical ward was empty save for the gentle and repetitive beeping of the heart monitor. Empty food wrappers and water bottles littered the floor by a chair in which Steve had opted to spend his time. He too had looked without sleep.

Loki stepped slowly towards your bedside. Your face was pale and a bandage could be seen beneath the gown and shirt you had been dressed in. Loki could feel his temper escalating at the thought of somebody else having dressed you or cared for you – he felt protective and the feeling was alien to him. Carefully and cautiously, Loki lifted a hand and looped his index with a finger of your own. Your hand was cool and soft.

“Please…” He whispered. Thor stepped forward and patted Steve on the shoulder. The latter looked up apprehensively before following the Asgardian’s directions. They filtered out of the room. Loki sighed again and his breath shivered.

“I hate you.” He growled. “I hate everything about you. Your arrogance, your vanity, your smug pride; I hate the fact that you are stubborn, I hate that you play games and chide me; I hate that you insist on provoking my anger. I hate you because you are insipid and pedantic. I hate you because you know exactly how to manipulate me. You play on my animal instincts and provoke my lust, and I hate the fact that you have such a hold on me.

“I hate you so much that I cannot comprehend why I put up with you. I abhor your laugh, your smile, your eyes, and your general joviality. Your voice entices and irritates me simultaneously. Your infectious personality makes me want to scream and I cannot quit you. I hate you for the way you make me see the world, for the way you make me feel. I hate you for doing this to me.”

“I…”

Loki stopped, not having realised that he was agitated enough to begin panting. His grip on your finger was marginally tighter but still you were no warmer. Desperately he wished that you would move, that your eyes would flutter open.  
“Please… Tell me that this is all a trick, a lie. Tell me that you toy with my affections as some estranged method of obtaining them. I would not scorn you, nor would I hold any contempt. Were it to be true I could only place you in higher regard. I should even be proud, proud of such a scam! Please, let it only be true… Let you live and I should smile enough to fill a thousand suns.”

A gentle knocking disturbed Loki’s speech and he turned hastily. Tony Stark didn’t fill the doorway up as much as he could’ve done but it was enough to appear slightly intimidating. The billionaire opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it. His eyes showed an expression that Loki couldn’t discern. Had he heard what had been said? Loki released your hand and stepped away.

Out in the hallway, the other Avengers congregated and Thor looked up as Loki stopped at his side.  
“Take me back to my cell. Asgard, a prison: anywhere is better than here,” said he.  
“But-”  
“I will not fight. I cannot fight, not any more. I am done with this world – conquering it, defending it: being on it. It will not do. You must allow me to leave. If you cared about me at all then take me home.”

* * *

 

In the films, waking up is always depicted elegantly; the heroine flutters her eyelids and sighs gently before sitting up immediately with a face full of make-up and hair fresh out of a salon. However, the first thing you wanted to do upon feeling conscious was throw up. And you did just that.

“Jesus Chr- Steve, get a mop!”

Two hands raked hair out of your face as you leant over the edge of the bed, mouth open and back arched. Everything in sight was smudged and you could feel your body shaking violently.  
“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Tony chuckled, trying to hide the disgust from his voice. You groaned as a response, feeling as though every word might cause you to reoffend.

Your volatile stomach made lying down no longer an option and so Tony helped you to sit up, adjusting cushions and blankets until you were comfortable. Steve ambled into the room shortly after with cleaning supplies, only to drop them upon seeing you. He hurried forward and gathered you into his arms, exclaiming multiple times how grateful he was before scampering away to inform the others.

Words remained a luxury whilst Tony cleaned, despite the fact one question burned on your tongue. Eventually you could hold it in no longer and risked opening your mouth.  
“Where’s Loki?” You asked.  
“Hm?” Tony finished mopping before slumping into a nearby chair. He was either avoiding the question or genuinely didn’t hear it. Either way you chanced asking for a second time.

Loki was, in fact, still in his room, wishing he had a case to pack. The wait for Thor to organise transportation home seemed agonisingly longer the less he had to do. He had tried reading but his mind was too askew; he had paced the room until he was tired. Now he sat on his bed with his hands in his lap, trying to block out everything around him.

He futilely looked around the room again, in case he had by some chance missed a belonging that he desperately might need to take with him. And then he saw it, out of the corner of his eye, tucked away in the corner. A green blanket.

Loki smiled. He stood and picked it up, letting it fall open in his hands as he toyed with it nostalgically.

_Loki didn’t know much about Midgardian illnesses but a shiver was never good – and if you died in his presence, he would undoubtedly be held accountable, an unappealing thought. Flicking out his hands, Loki conjured a blanket and draped it over your body._

_You held out your hands with the blanket betwixt them. Loki stared incredulously at it before looking up at you._  
_“Am I supposed to be impressed? Thankful?”_  
_“Neither. I’m just returning what’s yours. Take it before I regret my manners.” You hissed. Before he could respond, you thrust the cloth into his hands so that you might use your own to cover your mouth as you sneezed._  
_“Bless me…” You muttered. With a roll of his eyes, Loki held the blanket out to you again._  
 _“Keep it. You appear to still be unwell and-” He noticed the curiosity in your stare. “–and I don’t want it if it’s covered in your germs.”_

_The God moved elegantly through the room and picked up his blanket, which he intended to throw in your direction… He approached your bedside and tossed it onto your lap._

_You stood looking up at him with a familiar blanket in your arms._  
_“Last time I tried to give this back to you, I was still sick. Guess I don’t have to worry about that being the case this time.”_  
_“I certainly hope not.” Loki said. He didn’t often feel uncomfortable but this was one of those rare occasions. Clearing your throat, you held out the blanket and he took it gratefully._

 

The sound of someone clearing their throat withdrew Loki from his thoughts. He spun around and hid the blanket behind him.  
“You seem to be making a habit of startling me.”  
“I’d apologise,” said Tony, “but I really don’t care.”

Loki grunted.  
“Is there a reason you are here? Because I shall not be for much longer.”  
“Yeah, I heard you were thinking of taking off.”  
“So I reiterate my question…”

Stepping lightly, Loki crossed the room and sat on his bed, bringing the blanket onto his lap. Tony suddenly stepped into the room and pointed an accusing finger at the God.  
“I believe that belongs to (y/n).” Loki stared up incredulously. If a look could melt glass, it would have been that one.  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“That blanket. It’s hers. I saw it in her room when she was sick.”

“I think you’ll find that it is mine.”  
“Then how did she…?” The realisation hit him like a brick and he pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. Afterwards he folded his arms and leaned against the door frame.

“What do you want with her?” He asked, voice troubled and gravelly. Loki was momentarily taken aback. He looked down at the emerald cloth and stroked it gently. In its material Loki saw the image of (y/n)’s face – still and snow white – and tried to ignore the heat rising to his eyes. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath.  
“It doesn’t matter now…”

The blanket was a warm jade, but one small dot darkened as a singular tear puddled and disappeared on it.  
“Oh, but it does…” Tony insisted. Loki looked up, wishing he could get mad but all of his energy was gone.  
“What did I want with her? I wanted to prove to her I was capable of more than she thought. I wanted to show her… that I could do more than hate.”

Tony sighed and looked down, nothing even resembling compassion on his face.  
“That’s not what I asked you.”  
“Stark, even I cannot believe you incapable of listening to yourself. You asked me what I wanted with her.”  
“Wrong again. Are you always this arrogant?” Loki’s grip tightened and he felt anger swelling within him. Tony smirked.  
“You told me what you _wanted_ \- past tense. And I asked you…” He stopped. He smirked again and looked down. Loki sniffed and shook his head ignorantly.

Tony stepped aside.

Even through his tear-smudged vision, Loki could see that the figure in the doorway was yours. Your face was pale still and your eyes were tired but it was definitely you. _And you were alive._ You stood with a cane to help you stay upright. Loki sniffed quietly, and looked between you and Stark (who was already retreating from the premises).  
“You’re… You’re…” He stammered.  
“I take a bullet for you, but you can’t wait 5 minutes for me to wake up?”

Loki smiled incredulously and tossed the blanket aside. He stepped towards you, looking you up and down as if unable to believe what he was seeing. He ghosted his hands over the sides of your face, wanting to touch you but still disbelieving. You fought back a smile – this was a Loki you’d never encountered before. Before you could say another word, he had wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against him. His heart was beating furiously and you could feel it hammering against his chest. Abandoning your cane, you wholeheartedly returned the hug. He nestled his face into the crook of your neck and released a deep breath.  
“I thought you lost to me.”

“Always presuming that I belong to you…” You giggled. Loki released you and bent his head, a tousle of long black hair concealing his face.  
“No. I was wrong. You do not belong to me and I see that now. But forgive me if I admit that I belong to you; in every sense of the word I am _yours_.”

You stroked the side of his face and tried to focus on standing upright - your cane was on the floor but currently Loki’s arms were still around your waist, holding you tightly. He pressed his forehead against your own. After a moment, his gaze shifted and met your own. He took a sharp intake of breath:  
“Come with me. To Asgard. I cannot offer you anything more but if my heart is enough then I pray that you take it.”  
“And spend my days as a prisoner? No thank you. I’ve done that before; not fun.”

Loki made a soft growling sound and his grip on you wavered. Immediately your weak body gave way and you began to tumble to the ground. He only just caught you in time. After lowering you to the floor, he crawled to your side and looked you over, his hands skimming your body as if he might’ve hurt you.  
“But…” You whispered, still a little out of breath from the shock of the fall. Loki’s hurt eyes suddenly twinkled with hope.

“You could stay here.” You placed a hand tenderly on his cheek but he made no response. His quivering mouth was open, and his eyes were wide and wet. “Stay here with me. I know I’m arrogant, and irritating, and frankly a bit of a mess, but I figure that…” Your words trailed away and you felt tears welling in your eyes. You wanted to plead and beg but your character forbade you from it. Yet he understood. Loki shuffled towards you and kissed the inside of your palm.

“I would live a thousand lives alone if it meant I might spend one of them with you.”

* * *

 

Thor approached the door to Loki’s room with a red lower lip. He’d been biting it incessantly since being denied the appeal to return with his brother. How was he supposed to explain? Would his brother be angry? Upset? He couldn’t tell anymore. Having seen his teammate arriving looking crestfallen, Hawkeye had agreed to accompany him and deal the blow, lest Loki’s rage be incited. Thor appreciated the company.  Slowly he turned the handle and stepped into the room, only to be shushed (despite not having said a word). Loki was sat on the floor with his legs outstretched and (y/n) was lying across them. Her pale face was contented and restful as she slept, one of Loki’s hands intertwined in her hair. His other hand was over her torso, looped with her fingers. A green blanket was draped elegantly over her too. The pair looked unimaginably blissful.  
“She’s only just…” Loki hissed, only to silence when (y/n) stirred slightly. He stroked her hair gently and soothed her back into slumber. “…fallen asleep, and if one of you wakes her then I will slaughter you where you stand.”

“But- but you’re hugging her.” Clint pointed out, realising the resemblance to the first time that his friend had been unwell.   
“How observant of the archer.” Loki sneered. Unable to come up with a retort, Hawkeye stepped outside where he could laugh without concern for volume.  
“Admit it brother,” Thor repeated, expecting the opposite response to that which he received, “you are fond of the woman.”

Loki stroked a piece of hair from your face and smiled wistfully.  
“Yes.” He said. “Yes, I am.”


	10. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had an idea about an epilogue to Plague and I couldn't not write it...

It was Christmas in New York. Contrary to the songs, there were no bells ringing; no angels singing either. The world seemed blissfully quiet, and the festive season was well underway.

It was a beautiful morning that you woke up to. A pair of gossamer curtains let faded sunshine spill into the room and bathe the floor in light. You could see the silhouettes of water droplets throwing themselves from the upper sill as the overnight frost died in the sunrise.

A pair of arms encompassed your waist and as Loki stirred, his skin shifted against yours beautifully. His fingers stroked you fondly as he woke, grazing over a scar on your abdomen, before gripping a little tighter and turning you over to face him.   
“Good morning.” He purred before kissing you flush on the mouth. You responded eagerly before pulling yourself away and sitting up. You kicked your legs over the edge of the bed and yawned, raising your hands to the sky and stretching simultaneously.

Loki pushed your hair aside and kissed the back of your neck tenderly. He wrapped his arms around your waist and attempted to return you to the bed but you resisted. His kisses became longer, wetter, more inviting.   
“Must you leave?” He said with a gravelly voice.   
“Tis the season…” You chuckled. “Things to do, people to see.”

Loki sighed and squeezed you a little tighter but ultimately allowed you to stand. You still needed your cane to help you walk long distances but most of the time, you were able to move independently. This was one of those times. Loki watched you change until you insisted that he get up out of bed and he obliged regretfully whilst you pored over a list of Christmas presents that you still needed to buy.

Tony was getting a scarf, despite Loki’s insistence that he should receive a framed photo of the pair of you (Stark was still struggling to adjust to the idea of your relationship and the trickster knew it all too well). Steve was getting a limited edition Andrews Sisters’ album, which you still had to buy. Clint needed-  
“You mentioned that you were going to see people?” Loki said, lowering himself onto the bed and attempting pull a shirt over his abdomen.

Over the past month, Loki had changed. Though he remained much the same in personality, outwardly cynical and snide, he was different in little ways such as the way he dressed and his outlook on the world. No more did he seek vengeance on the human race – on the contrary, he sympathised with them more having lived amongst them. He was generally more compassionate, even if he did not openly show it to the world. There were those that continued to chide and hiss at him in the street and you’d cleaned enough slanderous graffiti from the side of Stark Tower to know how the world viewed him, yet somehow he was unaffected.

You smiled and looked down before standing and helping him to pull the material over his head. You could hear him mutter something about the ‘absurdity of Midgardian clothing’ as you did so and stifled another grin. When he was suitably dressed, he pulled you onto his lap and held you there, hugging you whilst you spoke.   
“Yes. Just an old friend of mine. Why, did you want to see someone too?”   
“Not me but… I… I think you should see your family.” He replied with a low voice. You could hear the apprehension in his words and wondered what had inspired them. “I was thinking about it last night and decided that since this holiday is about family, it might be good for you to visit.”

“Loki, I thought I told you. I’m-”  
“I know what you say you are but you also spent many weeks of your life working to protect those people.”  
“Because they were innocent.” You protested, attempting to stand up. Loki was bringing up memories that you would rather forget and he seemed intent on making sure you couldn’t avoid them, tightening his embrace and holding you still.

“Nonetheless, they have no idea who you are or what you did for them. I don’t doubt they’d be grateful to find out.”   
“I don’t deserve their gratitude,” you insisted, finally managing to escape his hold, “unless you’ve forgotten the reason I was at their house in the first place.”   
“You cannot help a troubled past. But you _can_ absolve it. I am sure they will forgive you.”

You ambled to the other side of the room where your cane lay waiting and leant back against the wall. Loki followed you and placed a slender hand on your cheek, lifting your face to look at him. The action was, as always, reassuring.   
“If being with Thor has taught me anything, it is that forgiveness is possible between family, even if no blood is shared.” You smirked, abandoning your anxiety for a minute.   
“So this has nothing to do with the fact that you would rather spend Christmas away from him?”

Loki hesitated.   
“That… is irrelevant. This is about you, and your family.”   
“Nice save.”

And so that was how you found yourself knocking on the door of a house you hadn’t seen in a year. It looked so different decorated in snow and dripping with Christmas decorations. Through the front window, you could see an elegant tree, beautifully ornamented.

You didn’t get to admire it long, though, as the door swung open and revealed a bearded man with glasses. His face sent you reeling inside but you kept it together long enough to say:   
“Good afternoon.”

Sensing your unease, Loki looped his fingers with yours.   
“Can I help you?” The bearded man asked. You scoured your mind for his name but to no avail. Nonetheless, he seemed indifferent to your arrival so you continued.   
“I… I’m hoping that you can.” You took a shaky breath and Loki squeezed your hand, keeping you focused. “Please excuse the intrusion, but would it be possible that I might come in? I wish to talk with you and your wife.”

The bearded man suddenly frowned.   
“I have no intention of letting a stranger into my house.”   
“No, I know.” You said quickly. “And I believe I am partly to blame for that. Because the last time you let a stranger into your home, you and your family were taken from it.”   
“How could you-”  
“Know that?” You looked down and kicked the ground gently.

“It’s a long story. But it’s one that I fully intend to explain if you let me.”

* * *

Loki looked far more relaxed than you, sitting across from your ‘family’ having just explained everything. _Everything_. The Christmas tree to your right looked much better close up and you couldn’t help but admire the decorations upon it as you finished speaking. _Baby’s First Christmas_ was written in glitter across one of the baubles and it made your heart sink. You’d forgotten they had a child.

“HYDRA kidnapped you to get to me.” You concluded. “They presumed that I was in your house because I lived there. Because you were my family.”   
“Why were you here?” The woman asked. She looked much shorter and far less intimidating from her seat on the chair opposite. Her blonde hair was scraped back into a bun and her emerald eyes watched you curiously. She’d been introduced as Trisha by her husband, whose name turned out to be Mark.   
“You have to understand. I was desperate. Living on the streets, hungry, alone, and cold. I walked by your house and looked in and everything was just… perfect.”

You looked to the window, seeing everything as though it had happened yesterday. You watched yourself walking by, face lit up by the streetlamps, contemplating whether or not to pick the lock.   
“You were going to rob us.” Trisha sighed with a shaky breath. You nodded and avoided her gaze.   
“I actually already had. I was leaving when they busted the door in. I’d taken a bit of food and some cash from the countertop; nothing more, I swear.”

“I believe you.” Mark said lowly. The corner of Loki’s mouth turned up briefly.   
“They threatened to kill you if I didn’t comply. I did so much wrong – hurt so many people – but I could still sleep at night knowing that you hadn’t been hurt because of my mistake. Only now, coming back, do I see the consequences what I did. The effect it had on you… just because I was a little peckish.”

You dropped your head and stared at your shaking hands that were balled in your lap. Loki leaned forward and placed a hand on your shoulder. There was a momentary pause as the weight of your confession sunk in – until Trisha spoke.   
“You saved us.” She said.

You looked up at her, disbelief written on your face and tears lining your eyes.    
“Oh my sweet, sweet child. Don’t cry.” Trisha hurried out of her seat and knelt in front of you, using her thumbs to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

“Whatever happened to you, whatever you did, doesn’t matter now.” Pulling you onto her lap, Trisha held you like only a mother could. At first you didn’t know how to react. All of your life without anything resembling a guardian and here was this woman who was acting as though you were her own. Seeing the shock in your eyes, Mark too approached you with a chuckle. So many years alone and in the space of a day you had gained a not just one, but two parents.

As Mark wrapped his arms around you, you buried your face into Trisha’s neck and let out the tiniest of whimpers. She kissed the top of your head and stroked your hair as if it was something she had done all your life.   
“Please, stay. It would mean so much to us, after all you’ve done.” She whispered.   
“But I-”  
“I shan’t hear a word otherwise.” Mark insisted, leaning back onto the balls of his feet and rubbing your back. He wasn’t crying but you could hear the emotion in his voice.

Loki watched the encounter with a smug smile upon his face. This had gone better than he ever could’ve hoped for and there was no chance he would ever let you hear the end of it. Trish looked up, seemed to remember that he was there, and then cleared her throat.    
“And of course the invitation is extended to you.” She smiled, placing a hand on Loki’s knee. His face instantaneously dropped.

“Tell me, were you also responsible for saving us?”

* * *

Loki couldn’t breathe. He had taken himself away, claiming to need fresh air, and escaped to the back garden where he now sat on a concrete step. His head was in his hands and he choked out a sob. When the woman had placed her hand on him, he’d immediately thought of his own mother and the image was stifling. Then he’d seen New York, and all of the destruction, and how they might have been amongst that. It was all too much. No doubt you were now explaining as much to them. Any other time he would’ve retorted, spat and sneered, and stood up for himself, but he knew how important this was to you. The last time he spoke without thinking, you’d broken up with him, believing him incapable of emotion. That was not an experience he intended to repeat. He was a changed man… Wasn’t he?

A warm orange light was cast along the floor as the sound of the back door opening and shutting echoed into the darkened night. When Loki lifted his head and turned, he had not anticipated the person who was now tottering towards him.

The girl looked about 5 or 6 but she carried herself with the confidence of someone beyond her years. She plopped down next to Loki and he couldn’t help but note the way her legs swung above the ground that his feet reached with too much ease. She was so little!   
“What are you doing here?” She asked and Loki felt his breath escape him again. Did she recognise him? Had this pure, innocent child also been tainted and destroyed by the war he had threatened to bring?

“I… I…”   
“Why are you not rescuing the princess?” She asked, tilting her head and looking up at him. Her blonde curls shook with the action.   
“What are you talking about?”

“ _The princess._ ” She sighed. “You look like a prince, so you must have a princess.” Then she leaned forward and said with a whisper, “Or are you a prince that likes other princes?” Loki chuckled.   
“No, you were correct. I like princesses but… I am no prince. If anything, I am a villain.”   
“No. You’re a prince. You look just like the prince in my book.” Before he could protest, the little girl had taken his hand and was leading him back inside.

* * *

You leaned against the doorframe and let a smile curl its way onto your face. You’d assured Trish and Mark of your faith in Loki and they had extended their seemingly universal forgiveness to him too. However, when you’d gone to tell him this, he was nowhere to be found. That was until you searched upstairs.

Loki sat in the sickeningly pink room in an equally vibrant pink plastic chair, which was so small that his knees were practically under his chin. He looked marvellously out of place. In his hands was a large book entitled “Fairy Tales for Children” and he was staring at the contents furiously. On the cover was a prince whose long black hair shimmered as he danced with a familiar looking princess…

Behind Loki, a small girl took Loki’s hair between her fingers and was in the process of arranging into a braid. Half of his hair had already been styled thusly and was held in place with a blue bow. Luckily he was too absorbed to notice.

“But Tabitha I still do not understand.” Loki said, trying to turn his head around. Despite her size, she yanked at his hair and kept his focus forward so that she could continue fashioning it. You bit back a laugh. “Why did the princess fall for him?”   
“Just because the wizard makes him a monster does not mean that he is one. When she sees that he can be good, she falls in love with him.”

Tabitha leaned into Loki’s ear.   
“Plus the princess always tells the prince off when he’s naughty. It’s really funny.”

“But here,” Loki pointed to something on the page, “another person likes the princess. Somebody better. Why would she choose the prince?”  The girl groaned in exasperation.   
“Look closer. The other guy isn’t nice; he hurts the princess and the prince saves her.”   
“He saves her…” Loki repeated. You peered again at the cover and admitted that the prince did resemble the Asgardian uncannily, though you still couldn’t work out where you’d seen the princess before.

Tabitha gasped and brought your focus back.   
“Look, look, it’s the princess!” She squealed, letting Loki’s hair fall from her tiny fingers and scrambling towards you. Whilst Tabitha tugged you into the room by your hand, Loki stood and frowned at himself in a nearby mirror before shaking his hair free.

Trish and Mark entered the room shortly after as their daughter began to tell you all about the story in her book. Knowing that your meal was quickly going cold, you picked the rambling child up and carried her out of the room on your hip, but not without flashing Loki a loving smile first.

Loki approached the remaining company with his head bowed.   
“You… You have raised a fine child.” He said. “And I do not intend to cause you any bother. Please say goodbye to her for me.” Mark rolled his eyes and smiled at his wife before extending his hand to Loki.   
“You should stay - at least for dinner. We’ve made enough food for you now so it’d be a waste.”

Loki paused before shaking Mark’s hand, noting the warmth and sincerity of it. He nodded politely to Trish too and she reciprocated. The bearded man turned and left the room, with Loki and his wife following slowly behind.   
“I appreciate your grace.”   
“Think nothing of it.” She said as they began to descend the staircase. “Besides, what sort of parents would we be to send away our daughter’s prince?” Loki chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.   
“She seems to believe that I am the character from her book.”

“I wasn’t referring to that daughter.” She replied.

* * *

The snow was falling heavily as you and Loki returned home under the cover of night. Street lamps lit the way so that you could see the nearby tower despite the downpour of white.   
“You know; I didn’t get anything done today that I had planned to.”   
“Those are the best kind of days. The small, impulsive bursts of chaos.” Loki sighed, looping his arm with yours. He was wearing a long grey coat and a green scarf around his neck, perfectly wrapped up despite the fact that he was more than comfortable in the cold climate.

“Thank you… for making me go. And for coming with me.” You said, resting your head against his shoulder. Loki pressed a soft kiss onto your head and said nothing for a while, simply enjoying the walk.   
“It was as enlightening for me as it was for you.”   
“Yes, I noticed that Tabitha gave you a lesson in literature.”   
“She is a bright young girl.”

“What the hell happened to you in there?” You chuckled. “You’re being uncharacteristically nice…”   
“I’m insulted. I’ll have you know I can be incredibly nice.” You laughed again.   
“Okay, _sure_. I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Your feet stumbled and slipped in the snow as Loki stopped abruptly in his tracks. You turned to face him, concerned with his actions, and saw that his eyes were cast down. He spoke with a low and coarsely.   
“Do… Do you really think that I am no different? Do you believe me incapable of kindness?” You furrowed your brow and looked up at Loki, placing a hand on his cheek.

“It’s not your most prominent trait…” You said, hoping an airy laugh would dispel some of the tension. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not in there somewhere. Loki, it’s not like I’m a ray of bloody sunshine either. You don’t have to worry about this sort of thing, I promise.” Had he always been so afraid of himself?

He sighed and you watched the cloud of breath escape his lips, fleeing into the night air. You grabbed his scarf and pulled his mouth down, raising yourself onto the balls of your feet to meet him. His hands found their way onto your lower back where he held you against him, savouring the taste of you and using it to forget all his worries. When you finally parted, you pressed your forehead against his.   
“You saved me. And I won’t forget that. Never.”

Loki removed a hand from your back and ghosted his fingers along your frozen cheek. He leaned forward and you thought he might kiss you again, but instead he spoke. His voice was a soft whisper.   
“No, my princess. I may have kept you alive, but you saved _me_.”


End file.
